You Don't Get No Respect

I've often felt like the Rodney Dangerfield of children's book illustrators. So much of it seems like a hush hush situation but I feel like writers get more respect than illustrators when it comes to publishing children's books. I've been in this business for over 20 years. I know the pay isn't the greatest, but I feel like it hasn't improved over the past 15 years! I know that teachers' salaries are not the best and yet they make more then I do. I'm having to do a lot of research, too, that editors seem to not acknowledge as time spent on a project. I find it all so frustrating lately and I hate being so negative about the business, but I'm single and just trying to make a living at what I can do my best at. Even Amazon doesn't give me recognition on a picture book and just gives the author the credit on their site.

I can't do much about what you're being paid; perhaps you should be negotiating harder. ...And stepping up the pay scale in illustration is often a matter of developing a style that's recognizably yours and that builds a fan base. Is yours unique?

In terms of authors getting more respect, I think this is true some of the time, unfortunately. The public understands better what the author does, and tends to credit the author with the generation of ideas for the book. (Often idea generation is the author's, but illustrators also sometimes contribute ideas to a book.)

Let's just recognize right here that the public simply does not understand how much work it is for either the author or illustrator to create even the simplest picture books—which is why idea-generation is where they're laying all the glory.

Now, editors have much less of an excuse. True, editors are sometimes buffered from illustrators by the designer, who may or may not trouble to let the editor know how much work has gone into the illustration. But a thoughtful editor should be able to guess, and moreover should be interested enough in her field to find out.

What to do about this? I'm not sure there is much to do. But artists could make a start on educating people by not just showing finished art on their websites. Giving viewers a sense of how many studies/drafts you went through, the brainstorming you did, will help them to realize that you have a job, not just a pastime.

(And editors face the same thing. Lots of people face the same thing. When the public doesn't have any idea how difficult a job is, they go ahead and assume it's easy. How many jobs do you think of as "easy"?)

Amazon is something you can fix, though. There's a link at the bottom of the page (in the Feedback section) where you can click to update product info. Or you could click on the "any other feedback" link, which allows you to send Amazon a message-- which could include a link to your publisher's website so that Amazon can double-check that the illustrator is who you say it is. Give them a couple weeks to make the changes you've requested.

All the Answers Are No

As we've been discussing, the slush inspires some mixed feelings. For some people (persistant, talented people), it pays off. And for other people it's hay-baling time.

So at the risk of aiming a post at people who don't read this blog, I'd like to point out some instances of slush-related correspondence in which the answer is no:

• You found a typo on page 76, and here's the corrected page. Could we just replace it in the manuscript you sent us last week? No.
  

• Whoops, you moved. Two months ago you sent us a manuscript, and here's your new address. Could we just tuck this notice in with your previous package? No.


• You air-mailed your aged grandmother to the slush (her rocker was too big for the envelope), and you're starting to worry that she might expire while she waits to be evaluated. Could we give her this bottle of water and kit of emergency rations? No.

I think we've established that hunting through the slush is a dubiously productive activity at the best of times (look, two-month-old chocolate!).

But hunting through the slush just to fix some small thing for you is the kind of pointless that makes old editors look back on their lives and weep bitter tears for their wasted youth. Even considering that it would be editorial assistants and interns doing the hunting, it makes me weep bitter tears for the time they could be spending writing my catalog copy or requesting my contracts.

The occasional typo we don't care about.
New address? Submit again.
Grandmother? Our submission guidelines clearly state that we are not responsible for the health or longevity of any materials sent to us.

There are a few editors and a number of ex-slush readers who seem to read this blog (for companionship, I think). Would anyone like to start a list of the stranger things they've found in slush? I'll start:

• a crate of tangerines
• a wool stocking full of jellybeans
• a hand-made hand puppet that really farted (mini whoopee cushion)

Picture Book Theory

When an editor, who has been given the task by a small publisher to be the art director and then tries to "direct" the illustrator to draw the text, verbatim? I have always thought of illustration in a picture book to be the "second" story/text not just window dressing, that states something twice. Should an illustrator stand their ground, or for that matter, if an art director suggested change in text, should an author stand THEIR ground??? Or... do we all just do as we are told.

Oh, this is awkward. It sounds like this editor doesn't know some of the basics... and it may be hard to talk her around. You're contracted for this book, so you've either got to back out and look at your contract for what happens in the case of irreconcilable differences, or do your best to work it out with this editor.

I think of my job as more 'Facilitator of the Team' than 'Commander of the Army', so on my team suggestions from all sides are welcome (and discussed for merit before implementation, of course). But other editors are other editors.

Good luck!

To Blog or Not to Blog?

I write YA fiction on a blog, mainly because the illusion of having an audience motivates me to write. Does this hurt my chances of publication later because the writing has been public already? Or is there a point in the project when it is wise to remove the work or stop further posting? Is it necessary to disclose to potential publishers that the work is up on a blog? I'd love to hear your opinion on this, or if there are any established industry rules on publishing previously blogged fiction.

I (like many of my colleagues) am not completely familiar with all the implications of blog-to-book publishing. But I think Julie and Julia was originally published in blog form, yes? The publisher may want you to limit the blog's content as the book approaches publication, but I think we're all aware of the (cheap!) publicity possibilities of connecting with the internet community. You should let the publisher know that you're blogging, and give them some idea of how long and what kind of traffic you're getting.

Commercial Is As Commercial Does

What is meant by a "commercial" middle grade novel? My guess is something that might have the potential to become a movie or series (ala Harry Potter or Traveling Pants).

I take "commercial" to mean that a book will likely appeal to a wide variety of kids in its age group. This usually increases a book's likelihood of becoming a series, and because kids like series (and adults, too, of course), the publisher will happily expand on any work that is popular.

Let's not take the easy route and hypothesize that more popular books are less worthwhile. Certainly they tend to be less literary, but they're just as hard to write as less commercial books, and when it comes to getting kids to read, I don't care which type lights their fire.

The Triple Threat: Writing, Submitting, and Submitting Again!

I have had 14 picture books published and 100+ work-for-hire elementary texts. All my books were well-reviewed and most sold moderately. Despite this, I have been turned down by every single agent I have contacted. My theory is that they don't want to represent a writer who doesn't illustrate because their percentage of the five percent royalty is not worth their time.

I can't guess (with this amount of information) why you're being turned down for representation, but I can assure you that it's not because you don't illustrate. Lots and lots of picture book writers who only write are repped by agents. It may be that the books you're writing are consistently niche-market enough that some agents may not feel your advances are large enough to be worth their time, but it may also be that you haven't submitted to enough agents. Submit, submit, submit!
Good luck!

Book Roast!

Lots of fun to be had, and great people. Check it out: BookRoast

Unfortunately, not so much with the children's books so far. Dammit, I don't have time to read all these cool-sounding adult books. Stop tempting me!

The Fiery Furnaces of Slush

How did I just discover this?

I empathize so strongly with this writing, I can't tell you. I, too, have hardened myself in the furnaces of editorial assistant-ship, and the slush is just what this writer describes. And the phone calls.

But god, how did I never think of the editor-who-doesn't-exist? Brilliant!

**However, I must note that I never became as down on writers as this columnist seems to have. I saw myself headed down that road, and Took Steps to prevent the impending catastrophe. You can't think writers are consistently batshit and still work collaboratively with them. Some people go through the fire of slush and come out a cinder. Thank Heavens that wasn't me.

The Slush Gets Me Again

Have you written and submitted a vignette? No, don't play innocent. I see you there, whistling and pretending you didn't hear the question.

Vignettes are often some of the nicest writing, and while I realize you don't mean them to be, they're a dirty trick to play on editors.

Deep in the fens of slush, as we beat at the underbrush of bad punctuation and step gingerly (ew!) around the festering piles of crap, not so infrequently we catch sight of something. Wait, is it...! Something publishable? Something sleek and lovely and well-groomed? Yes! It's... No. It's a vignette.

This is like looking for the literary equivalent of an downy white swan or noble 10-prong buck, and finding a fricking plastic flamingo instead. In the realms of getting- the- rug- pulled- out- from- under- you, you can almost hear the "Yoink!"

Lookit. I don't care how charming and beautiful your two scenes / beloved memory / bonding moment is, it is not a story. Nothing happens. No, I take that back. (Jimmy and his dad caught a fish!) Nothing happens that anyone but you gives a shit about. There's no conflict.

These are also sometimes called "mood pieces", and their aim is to convey a single emotion or atmosphere. Yes, ok, Goodnight Moon has no conflict. But I'm not talking about bedtime books.

If some of your favorite picture books are No David, Where the Wild Things Are, and Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, consider that those books are practically conflict from one end to the other. People love conflict! Think about it. You're reading this blog, aren't you?

Slush and Punishment: You're Can Fix My Tpyo's, Right?

"You're spelling words are on the board" said Mrs. Feelings. "copy them, down and remeber to study hard on the wekend." Terrance thought "O'K. This ca'nt be so hard. But, Terrance has a problem. A problem with his eyesihgt. Terrance need's glasses.

That's a clever twist. You absolutely had me believing his problem was going to be dyslexia.

You know, I'm going to defer to Sean Lindsay, who responded to this problem (much more thoroughly than I'm ever going to) in this essay on one of the most pernicious myths of publishing: It dont mater how bad is my speling or grammar, cause thats’ what copyeditors is for.

Slush and Punishment: We Have Decided Not to Publish Your Steaming Pile of S***

Last year, about this time, I ran a series of posts called "Slush and Punishment" which were as close as I could ethically come to showing you real examples of the darkness that lurks in the heart of slush. The point being, This Is Your Competition. Not your competition in terms of getting published, of course, because I would rather eat nails than inflict stuff like this on children. But your competition for editors' time and attention... which is why it's so hard to get an editor's time and attention. Go forth armed with the truth.

In that fine (if not very long) tradition:

Little Poo is terrified and alone after the horrific natural disaster called BM washes him up in a strange place known only as "sewer". How will the brave Little Poo find his way home?

I'm throwing this away, but I feel unexpectedly bad for the trash basket.

Something's... Different.

Did this blog do something different with its hair? Is that a new shade of lipstick? There's definitely something...

Little Red Pudding Head (rerun from 6/07)

A short story with a moral.

Once upon a time there was a hopeful author, and everywhere she went she wore a little red cape and asked total strangers if they would help her get published. Her plumber couldn't help her get published. Her hairdresser couldn't help her get published. Finally it occurred to her to send her manuscript to members of her alma mater’s faculty, guilting them into writing a letter of recommendation.

Now she was all ready. She sent her manuscript and the letters of recommendation to the Big Bad Editor. At first the Big Bad Editor was puzzled by the praise two economics professors had offered a rhymed alphabet book about vitamins. But then she shrugged her shoulders and ate the author for lunch.

The moral:
Clueless? Like to bother strangers for the hell of it? I don’t want to work with you.

Everyone! (translation: No One!)

A woman sits down next to me during a conference break and (surprise) starts describing her picture book idea. It had to do with a small dog, or maybe a mop. I couldn’t tell. So I ask her, “Who do you feel this book is for?”

And she says, in perfect earnestness, “Well, everyone!”

Hold it, hold it. You can’t make people laugh that hard while they’re holding hot coffee.

So I catch my breath and address the coffee stains, and then I explain to her:

There is no such thing as a book that is for everyone. No, don’t argue with me. There isn’t, dammit.

There are occasionally books that are for a lot of different people (like Scribbles), and there are even more occasionally books that are for a hell of a lot of people (like Harry Potter, or The Secret).

But:

1. You do not know that you have your hands on the next bestseller. Seriously. Let me tell you how many yahoos we get pitching us books as the next big thing. This tactic marks them as too dumb to work with, associate with, or confirm ever having spoken to. You are dead to us, Mr. “It’ll be the Cuban-American Harry Potter!” J. K. Rowling had no idea she’d written something that would take the world by storm. Her British publisher had no idea. And no, not because of stodgy publisher shortsightedness. Because you can’t predict what’s going to be big.
1. And when I say “you can’t predict” I mean you, jackass, the one who hasn’t spent his entire adult life reading and thinking about children’s books and the book industry, and still thinks he’s better at picking bestsellers than publishers are. And you just happen to have written one! How convenient!
2. And I also mean publishers.
2. (Deep breath.) Even if you did have something with very wide appeal, there are plenty of people who do not own a copy of Harry Potter, and there is also a segment of the population who owns a copy and did not enjoy it. There is no such thing as a book for everyone.
3. Finally, and most to the point, when we ask who a book is for, we do not mean “who could it apply to?” We do not mean “who could conceivably enjoy this?” We mean, “who will this definitely appeal to so strongly that they spend money on it?”

Oh, I’m sorry, is that asking you to make assumptions about an audience you have no connection to? Do you, maybe, think there’s a problem with having no connection to your audience?

If I ask you if three-year-olds would like a book and you say “I don’t know,” what you’re really saying is “I don’t know what three-year-olds like.” And that means that you don’t get to write for them.

Unfortunately, there are quite a number of people who don’t think they need to even know what continent their clue is on in order to write a book for children. Happily, they don’t really read this blog. Unhappily, that means I don’t get to cuss them out here.

June Reruns

It has been suggested to me that I might do re-runs of some of the older (but favorite) posts for people who are newer readers. I kinda like the idea, partially because there are some 2007 posts I'm fond of, and partially because it sounds easy.

But what do you guys think? There's a poll option to the right.

If any old timers want to request particular reruns, please do that in the comments.

Thanks for voting!

Today's After-School Special: Sales Peer Pressure

My friends and I have noticed (and frequently complained about) the way that some authors' books seem to degenerate over their career-Rowling and Pullman leap to mind... Anne McCaffrey seemed to have a bit of this problem too, back in the day. Do editors just stop editing them because they're guaranteed cash cows? Or is it a problem with authorial hubris? On the other hand, Rick Riordan's latest book still seemed pretty tight. And Terry Pratchett has improved over time.... So... is a lack of editing for popular authors an editorial or authorial decision? Or is it the whole "secret ending can't have too many eyes" problem?

In my experience, it's mostly commonly a combination of authorial hubris and publisher gutlessness.

It is a fact of life that authors, who may spend a great deal of time lovingly reading fanmail and googling themselves, end up with a warped opinion of their own talent. This is how a charming author who once knew her own mind but valued others' informed opinions becomes someone who doesn't just think her editor doesn't understand her, but doesn't see why she should bother trying to explain herself. She is brilliant! She is an artist! No wonder we don't get what she's trying to do--she is operating at a whole different level! (...of egomania.)

Now combine that with a medium-high level of career success. The editor who looks at the newest manuscript from this person wants to send it back and say, "I love your writing, but there's no character development or plot arc in this. You can do better." But the editor knows that (a) if the manuscript was published as-is, people would still buy it. A lot of people. And (b) if the editor says no to this, there's a fair chance the author would just turn around and sell it to some other publisher. Then that other publisher would have the mediocre book and the pile of money, and the original editor's Sales and Marketing people would be Highly Displeased that those sales were not theirs. Highly. Displeased.

Who has the guts to say no to money? The truth is, not a lot of people, especially in a business that's low-profit for pretty much everybody involved. And, more's the pity, those of us who want to Just Say No are under some serious pressure to say yes. You can get kicked out of school for not taking these drugs.

But She's Not There

It's true. Today I am not here—I'm at Editorial Ass.

Submissions R Us

I have written my first picture book (rhyming) for children. It has received positive feedback, and I would like to find a publisher. I've created a dummy, and made a list of possible publishers, intending to send individual submissions and letters of inquiry, depending upon the guidelines. Now, I've been advised to go to Publishers and Agents.com and let them do the legwork. What do you advise?

I don't know anything about that service. And I think I'd want to hear something pro or con from Preditors and Editors (eg) before I paid them $240. I've gotten some "submissions" that were clearly spam. I wouldn't want my work in the hands of services like that. Anybody have something reliable on publishersandagents?

Critique Roadshow

I have had three picture books and a middle grade novel progress from the slush pile to acquisition meetings at several different major publishing houses. Unfortunately, my work has been rejected at this point each time. The feedback I get is very positive. I'm finding it very frustrating because I don't really know what the problem is, so it makes it difficult to address it. Do you have any suggestions as to what I can do to improve my chances?

I try to let people know what the feedback was at acquisition meetings when something doesn't pass, but if you're not getting that, then you need to try to find feedback wherever you can. What does your crit group say? If they're no help, try to find another group or individual critiquers (perhaps on the blue boards). That you keep getting that far says that your work is very close to publishable... but there may indeed be some piece you're missing. Good luck!

Manuscript Therapy

My agent sent out my non-fiction book to an editor at a major publishing house (Transworld) a couple of months ago. It was in an advanced but incomplete stage and we got word back from the editor saying he was intrigued by the book's central premise, but thought that it needed some work to sound more convincing. He said he would "love" to be able to see the complete manuscript. I finished it a couple of months ago and sent it back to him. My agent seen him a month later at the London Book Fair and the editor let him know he was "very positive" about it, but now needed to "get his senior collegues on board". The London Book Fair was two months ago now and I've since chewed my nails down to a gnarly stump, but still no word back. I thought the editor's response sounded like he was going to take it to an acquisitions meeting, but does it usually take so long to prepare? I thought that the whole acquisitions process thing would be a hell of a lot quicker than this. Is this a good or bad sign? Help! The longy waitness is driving me mental!

Yes, it takes that long sometimes. Look, this is promising. And even if it doesn't pan out at this publisher, this is promising in terms of the project's eventual publication somewhere. Your agent could certainly nudge the editor now to remind him, but take deep breaths. Your manuscript is in a good place, emotionally. Put yourself there, too.

Your Publication (is) History

I am a lawyer-turned-children's writer. Before I made this happy transformation, I ghost wrote a law book. I am now applying to attend a children's writer's conference. The application asks me to describe my professional writing career. Can I name the book and say that I ghost wrote it, or do I have to use some sort of euphemism like "primary contributing author"? I worked on it for about a year, and I would like to specify the name, if it's acceptable to do so. I am not contractually restricted from naming it, but I don't wish to violate any unwritten ethical code.

It is a little dicey to tell strangers about your ghostwriting jobs. As it's not in your contract (as it would be in many ghostwriting instances), you can talk about it, but you may make people a little uncomfortable if they're wondering whether you should be mentioning it.

I think more to the point is that previous publication in law (or physics, or finance, or pretty much any adult topic) does not say anything about your ability to write for children. No, take my word for it. I've met and been submitted to by lots and lots of people who are published writers in one way or another, but their writing for children stinks like feet.

This is not to say that your writing stinks like feet. I am going to assume that your writing smells like lilies and peppermint, and publishers are going to turn your head and ruin your sense of economy with all the money they throw at you. But until that happens, seriously. The law book you wrote means nothing.

Your Fate Is in My Hands (mwah-ha-ha)

My question, as an aspiring children's book illustrator, is: when you receive a manuscript and get the go-ahead to publish it, are you the one who then searches for an appropriate illustrator with the help of an art director; or is the art director the sole decider of the story's illustrated destiny? (That was a little dramatic, I apologize)

This varies from house to house. Some editors have a great deal of say in the illustrator selection, and pretty much every editor has some say in it. Designers have a voice in this, too, and depending on the editor, the author may even get some say in the decision.
So be nice to everybody. This is good advice generally, but especially so in children's books.

Industry Watchdog Under Attack

It was inevitable, but dammit, I'm still mad. PublishAmerica is suing Preditors and Editors.
Please consider donating to their legal defense at the link below.

DEFEND PREDITORS AND EDITORS

The Future is Now (Flee for Your Lives!)

Just wondering what you think of Amazon's new Kindle? Do you have one? Would you use one? Is it here to stay? What do the big wigs at the big houses have to say? Are they nervous?

I have used a Sony Reader, and it looks handy for reading submissions (especially longer ones) when the goal is a 'yes' or a 'no'. You can't make notes on them, though, so they won't work for editing. I haven't tried the Kindle yet, but I hear you can make notes. Has anyone else tried one? Thoughts?

Reactions in the book industry are mixed, I think. On the one hand, we've seen tremendous changes in the way music and video reach people in the last fifty years. And while there are still people with players for vinyl records and tapes, there are more and more people (like me) who no longer even own CDs.

On the other hand, the way books reach people has changed very little in the last half-century, or, in fact, in the last 500 years. And you've got to remember that most people in the book industry are hard-core book enthusiasts, and that means they are deeply attached to the physical idea of a book.

So imagining an itunes-like change for the book industry is both difficult and painful for many insiders. I think there's a little bit of denial going around.
I also think that realistically, it's going to happen--one day, most bookstores and libraries will be online, and most books bought will be digital. We'll still need writers and illustrators and editors and designers and publishers and librarians and booksellers... but there will be adjustments to be made.
What I don't think is that this change is right around the corner, so there's no need for hyperventilation. The companies (and individuals) who watch for change and embrace it do just fine. The thing that has book people nervous right now is that it's not clear what the change is going to be; just how it's going to work. It's going to be ok, though. We'll figure it out.

Things to Do While I'm in LA

101 Reasons to Stop Writing's guest blogger tells us just how reasonable the recent Forbes article "How Amazon Could Change Publishing" is. Nice to see someone with "sir" in their name isn't above describing the reason a book isn't published as "shitness".

Literaticat, otherwise known as a children's bookseller and a rather up-and-coming agent, asks for questions. Go on, then.

Nevermind about my failure to blog much in the last week; go bother Nathan Bransford about his last post being from Friday.

Editorial Ass points us to a video that alternately amuses me and gives me a headache.

Making Up for Lost Time

Ok, I have some catching up to do. The backlog that occasionally overwhelms all editors (even compulsive ones like me) struck this spring. Happily, I've fought it out and will not be joining the ranks of the permanently backlogged (like some people I know, and feel for).

First off: you wanted to know what happened to the manuscript I was all excited about in early November: I showed it to a few other people here, and some of them said "eh" (they were wrong, obviously) and some of them had questions. I asked the author for a rewrite, and got it. It was even better! I took the rewrite to an acquisitions meeting, and there was again a small (and wrong-headed) percentage of "eh," but happily no one listened to the nay-sayers and I prevailed! I acquired it last month. And now it is mine, mine... mwah-ha-ha!
Now I move on to plotting the eventual downfall and subjugation of all readers to its charms. And it needs an illustrator. That, too.

Next: the Poetry Contest! Only two months late! Grand prize winner gets swag mailed to him/her from BEA.

Book Buyer Blogs: Voodoo Curses and Refreshments

Beyond the book itself, the rep's thoughts, and sales history (if any), what influences your buy? How much does a marketing plan, for example, sway your other instincts?

Remember, for frontlist we are buying six months or so in advance, so the only thing I really have to go on is the catalogue copy and rep. If it is a book that the pub has dedicated a large marketing budget to, that will be part of the rep's pitch. He might say something like "we're tremendously excited about this one, it is our lead title, we've had great reads from booksellers, so-and-so and so-and-so blurbed it" in which case, I'll probably get a stack. Or, "this might look dumb, but trust me, it is gonna be everywhere," and then I'll probably get a couple.

Post-publication, you are guaranteed brought in if you have a glowing review in the New York Times, my city paper's book section, NPR or Oprah. Also, post-publication, if a staff member reads it and is handselling it, I'll keep a stack. And if you are a local author and mensch, same.

For an author with a history, what (if anything) helps to overcome a lower sales history?

It is better to be a brand-new author with nothing but fresh-faced innocence, a big grin and a shiny new book, than to be a ho-hum writer with a few books that have lousy-to-meh sales histories. A new book has nowhere to go but up, and optimism from the pub can be high. It is much tougher to get excited about something that feels shopworn.

In my opinion, the only thing that will overcome a history of meh sales is a breakout book – either get a big promo push from somewhere, you gain a fan with an NPR show, you get a movie deal, you write a different kind of book, or you just somehow catch the zeitgeist. It certainly happens, all the time, but it is tough to predict what book will be the breakout, or why. Perhaps the why/how of a breakout is a question for the editorial side -- though I suspect that if anyone knew the answer to that, they'd be too busy counting their gold coins to read and respond to blogs.

What is involved in the decision to place a certain title cover-side-out instead of just shelving it (showing only the spine)?

Sort of in this order: Newness, Quantity, Space, Cover Hotness, and Personal Preference. We tend to try and face out everything that we have more than three copies of. This is hardly a science – sometimes we just need to fill some space. While it is a fact that all books sell better on a shelf with lots of face-outs, sometimes and in some sections, there is just no room.

What is the average time that a title remains that way?

Until we need more room on the shelf, or something cuter and newer comes along, or we sell down too far. One book does not a faceout make. [EA clarifies: a single copy of a title rarely gets placed face-out because it sits too far back on the shelf and is shadowed. And, understandably, booksellers want to promote most prominently the books that are taking up the most space (or money) in the store.]

What is the busiest time of year for books to be bought/sold?

Christmukkah is the busiest time from the retail end, of course. October is usually the busiest time for the events people. May is pretty crazy for buyers. Summer is dead for everyone, in my experience, though the store does pretty well with paperbacks and required summer reading.

How are author signings arranged at stores? Does it have to be through the agent/publisher or is it bad if the author tries to manage that him/herself?

The "big six" publishers – Random House, Penguin, Harper, Simon, Hachette, Macmillan – and to a lesser extent, HMH, Scholastic and Candlewick on the kid's side -- typically set up author tours through their in-house publicists and our events coordinator. If you are an author with one of these publishers, please please speak to your publicist and get the OK from them before you approach any bookstore. It is profoundly annoying for all when an author and publicist are working at cross-purposes to one another. This is a quick way to end up with no event, and booksellers and publicists with grudges against you.

If you are local, or with a smaller pub, you should still ask the publicist, but you will probably end up setting it up yourself. (Advice about that is too long to go into here, and in any case can be found all over the net.)

Not exactly up your alley but is it bad to bring treats/food for either the employees or potential customers at a books signing?

I like to have treats at events, but every bookstore probably has different ideas about that. I would ask the events person, make sure they allow food, and that way they'll be prepped and have a table ready for you.

Remember, make it NEAT food, nothing that will get ground into the carpet, and light/clear beverages (white wine, sparkling water) only. As far as yummy treats for the staff – always appreciated, in my experience. We make minimum wage and are hungry!

What happens when someone (not me) calls up and special-orders a book (not mine) that's not on the shelf and then doesn't pick it up? Does that book (again, not mine) end up just being shelved? Or does it go back to (not my) publisher?

Someone places the order, someone else receives the order, someone calls you and finds a place to put your order on the hold shelf. There it stays for a week or two, while we spend staff time calling you and reminding you. If you don't pick it up or refuse it, it goes in a box under my desk. When I have time, I look through that box and decide what stays. 95% of the time, these books get sent back to the publisher.

If this is a short-discount or non-returnable title, you also get a voodoo curse put on you.

If you'd like to know a couple of GOOD ways to get your book into the store -- with no voodoo curses -- I can tell you...

A New Game!

A while back there was an essay in the New York Times Book Review about how the number of readers is falling... while the number of authors is rising. The essay mentioned a few titles from iUniverse, everybody's favorite vanity press that lies to people.
It occurred to me that I've never been to iUniverse. So I checked it out. (And it's a good thing I did, because I'm a little bored with substituting ninjas.) Oh, it's awesome. Full of classic tales like My Life Miracle, which reminds me of the way my cable service abbreviates movie titles (Sister Travel Pants. Just makes you want to go, "Hi! I'm Sister Travel Pants. This is my husband, Papercup Mixmaster, and our beautiful son Laughing Gas Alligator!")

I couldn't help feeling some of the titles could have used a subtitle, though. So in this game, we provide the subtitle. Some candidates:

1. ...And the Little Bags You Need to Scoop Them Up With
2. ...I'll Get the Whip and My Fur Handcuffs

3. ...And Then the Morning Again... In Fact, You Can Pretty Much Count on a Whole Bunch of Days After This One. Billions, Maybe. With Mornings and Nights and Afternoons--Ooo! I Forgot About the Afternoons! Um... What Was My Point?



And here's one I haven't come up with a subtitle for. I keep getting caught up in the description. (I hope that you, my readers, appreciate this gift.)


"There are times, when you just can onot say what you would like to say. And, there are times when life can simply frustrate you withwe ignorance of your fellow human beings. This book will help you verbalize how you feel, without saying a word!
Please buy this book. It will help you from having stress, heart attacks and strokes. Telling people how you feel, is therapy! Situations in life can make you crazy. But do not let this happen to you. Just buy the book, and tell the person that needs to be slapped, to read a particular page."

If I Had a Hammer, I'd Hammer This Message Into You

Depressed, North Wind confided in his Siblings; “I was blowing around my favorite places on Earth and looked down, I mean really looked; she’s sick you guys, and it’s frightening, we have to think of a way to help heal our precious Planet Earth, what would we do without her; there is nowhere else to go?
Annie, a young girl, made from recyclable trash is a creation of the Winds because of their worry over the many environmental illnesses Earth is suffering from. Their plan: have Annie come to Earth and visit schools around the world to teach the children about these issues and how to tackle them one at a time; but which problem should they tackle first?

Which problem should we tackle first, indeed.
Children are just like unformed pieces of wood, aren't they? Just waiting for the chisels and planes and hammers and nails of the well-meaning adults around them? Or maybe they're like those pedal-operated trash cans: just step on a lever, their heads pop open, and a sign reads "Dispense Knowledge Here."

Except wait. That's almost the exact opposite of what I think.

Here's what I think: Children are people. They aren't people-in-training. Isn't it adorable the way they think they have minds of their own? No, it isn't. They do have minds of their own.

People (of any age) do not appreciate the funnel-to-gullet method of learning a lesson. Which is why I am firmly of the school of telling a story because you love the story, rather than loving the lesson that's carrying the story around like emotional baggage.

I would recommend you take a big step back from this message. No one here--no one!--is going to argue that it isn't a good and important message. I'd just argue that you'll catch more flies with honey than with a sledgehammer.

A Word to the Wise (and Enamored of Snark)

Every once in a while it occurs to me that my readers may not be reading the same blogs I am. So it's good to check.

Surely you're aware of Janet Reid (and if you don't know who she is, I'm not going to tell you) and Query Shark?

Via The Longstockings, test your typeface-awareness (and see if you can beat my score!): type test

Shelftalker, at Publisher's Weekly: the blog of a children's bookseller.


Favorite quotes this week:
“Teen books are like adult books, without all the bullshit.”
— H. Jack Martin, assistant coordinator of young adult services at New York Public Library

"The road to hell is paved with adverbs."
— Stephen King

KidLit News: Know Where I'll Be Next Weekend?

Children’s Book Week 2008 NYC Kick-Off in Bryant Park
Saturday, May 10, 12:00 – 5:00 pm

Children’s Book Week launches in NYC with an event for kids in the Bryant Park Reading Room on Saturday, May 10. Join National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature Jon Scieszka, with help from Clifford the Big Red Dog, Curious George, and Franny K. Stein, in welcoming 10 local authors and illustrators to read from their books. Book signings will follow each presentation. Clifford the Big Red Dog, Curious George, and Franny K. Stein will spend time with kids throughout the afternoon.
Don't forget to get the kids you know to vote for the Children's Choice Book Awards!


And over at Chris Eldin's, it's Author's Week

"A week of contests and fun and free books! Author's Week will be held on my blog from May 3 through May 9. Festivities will kick off on Saturday May 3 with an Oldies but Goodies Contest. I will have funny questions about the following authors who have supported my promotions in the past (cool prizes also!!)"

The Sweetest Berries Come with an Assful of Thorns

Why aren't teachers consultants to Book Publishers? We read a gazillion books a year - at LEAST four a day, and more at night and on the weekends. We nowwhat kids like, what they laugh about, what they cry about, who they are interested in, and what works and what doesn't. We are in the school library, the public library, the used bookstores, the yard sales and Barnes and Noble looking at books. Honestly, shouldn't WE be the ones hunting through the slush piles?

Sometimes teachers are consultants to publishers. But I'm surprised to hear that you think you have the time to read our piles of slush. I know some teachers who are as dedicated as you describe, and they work as much as I do (or more!).

The people who do tend to have the time, and the knowledge, are experienced booksellers. It's true they know less about children than teachers, but they're more likely to have an eye on the market as a whole, and they know more about what sells. And that's important. If you can't sell a book, you're never going to have the chance to share it with a child, no matter how appropriate to children it is.

But heck, if you want to read slush, write to publishers in your area and send them your resume. Make a case for why you're qualified to judge submissions. If you ask me, people who read slush should not only have a whole bunch of experience with children's books, they should:
1. read all age groups of children's books. If you don't read YA, how will you judge the YA manuscripts you get?
2. read what's current. If you don't know what's new and exciting in different age groups, you won't know which manuscripts are copycats, and which are breaking fresh ground.
3. be extremely hopeful. People who you can bury under a kitchen's worth of slush, and who will still say (muffledly) "I think I see something!"

Slush is a dirty job. Struggling through those piles takes intelligence and resilience and a sense of humor. You have to be the sort of person to whom grammatical mistakes, bad rhyme, and self-indulgent treacle are torture, and then read piles of grammatical mistakes, bad rhyme, and self-indulgent treacle. There are sweet and wonderful things to be found, for the sharp of eye, but it's like throwing yourself in a briar patch because you know there's a single blackberry in there. If you're crazy enough to want to do it ...well, come join the club.

Pythons Attack!

Today I was reading a children's blog and came across a story that had the same title as mine and plot as mine. The plot line may not be unique, however, it is a true story that happened to my sister's and I. The only difference in the story is that she used chickens as character and I used people. I feel that this author stole my idea. What should I do? How do I prove that the idea was mine first?

How do you mean she "stole" it? Do you think this author saw your own writing and took the title and plotline? That would be unethical, but also could be very hard to prove. (Aren't you using a critique group? They improve your writing and they provide witnesses.)

...Or do you mean that somehow the same idea for a children's book occurred to you both? In that case she's done nothing wrong, even if the idea came to you first.

Some people seem to think their ideas are equivalent to intellectual property. And it's true that some ideas are. Let's look at some examples.

1. Here's a guy who has an idea for a flying car. He hasn't built a flying car. His idea is that it will be aerodynamic and red with sparkles.

2. Here's another guy who has an idea for a flying car. He hasn't built a flying car. His idea is a detailed plan for the engineering and construction of a flying car--a set of complete blueprints which, if executed in physical form, would produce a real flying car.

One of these guys has intellectual property. The other has a daydream.

1. Here's a guy with an idea for a story. He hasn't written it down. His idea is that it will be about a girl, a pumpkin, and a fairy who makes fantastically uncomfortable shoes.

2. Here's another guy with an idea for a story. He hasn't written it down. His idea is a completely formed, sentence-by-sentence expression of a story about a girl, a pumpkin, and a fairy who makes fantastically uncomfortable shoes.

One of these guys has intellectual property. The other has a daydream.

You may have recognized that plotline. It didn't belong to the Brothers Grimm when they wrote it down, and it doesn't belong to either of these hypothetical guys, either. It's just a plotline.

The plotline of a group of orphans who explore new places on their own—and thwart criminals—does not belong to Lemony Snicket or Gertrude Chandler Warner or Trenton Lee Stewart.

The plotline of a boy who finds out he has extraordinary abilities and has to go away to a school for those abilities—and vanquish evil—does not belong to J. K. Rowling, or Jane Yolen, or Rick Riordan, or Trenton Lee Stewart ...or fricking anyone else.

An idea is just an idea until it is developed and expressed. If it's a car idea, it needs to be expressed in blueprints. If it's a story idea, it needs to be expressed in words.

As I've said before, in storytelling, as in pretty much everything, expression makes all the difference.

The Storyteller's First and Best Tool: Voice

I have a question about voice. Every time I hear an agent or editor raving about a 'stand out' voice, the book is written in first person. Can a third person narrative have that elusive unique and compelling voice that we always hear about? Do you have any examples of books written in third person that had a voice that really grabbed you?

Tons! But it's not fair to load the list with Newbery winners.
How about:

Skippyjon Jones

Every morning, Skippyjon Jones woke up with the birds.

And this did not please his mother at all.

"Get yourself down here right now, Mr. Kitten Britches," ordered Mama Junebug Jones.

"No self-respecting cat ever slept with a flock of birds," she scolded. "Or ate worms, or flew, or did his laundry in Mrs. Doohiggy's birdbath."

Ivy and Bean

It all began because Bean was playing a trick on her older sister.

Bean's older sister was named Nancy. She was eleven. Nancy thought Bean was a pain and a pest. Bean thought Nancy was a booger-head.

The Wee Free Men

She unhooked the largest frying pan, the one that could cook breakfast for half a dozen people all at once, and took some candies from the jar on the dresser and put them in an old paper bag. Then, to Wentworth's sullen bewilderment, she took him by a sticky hand and headed back down toward the stream.

Things still looked very normal down there, but she was not going to let that fool her. All the trout had fled, and the birds weren't singing.

She found a place on the riverbank with the right-sized bush. Then she found a stone and hammered a piece of wood into the ground as hard as she could, close to the edge of the water, and tied the bag of sweets to it. Tiffany was the kind of child who always carried a piece of string.

"Candy, Wentworth," she shouted.

She gripped the frying pan and stepped smartly behind the bush.

Wentworth trotted over to the sweets and tried to pick up the bag. It wouldn't move.

"I wanna go-a toy-lut!" he yelled, because it was a threat that usually worked. His fat fingers scrabbled at the knots.

Tiffany watched the water carefully. Was it getting darker? Was it getting greener? Was that just waterweed down there? Were those bubbles just a trout, laughing?

No.

She ran out of her hiding place with the frying pan swinging like a bat. The screaming monster, leaping out of the water, met the frying pan coming the other way with a clang.

It was a good clang, with the oiyoiyoioioioioioinnnnnggggggg that is the mark of a clang well done.

The creature hung there for a moment, few teeth and bits of green weed splashing into the water, then slid down slowly and sank with some massive bubbles.

The water cleared and was once again the same old river, shallow and icy cold and floored with pebbles.

"Wanna wanna sweeties!" screamed Wentworth, who never noticed anything else in the presence of sweets.

Tiffany undid the string and gave them to him. He ate them far too quickly, as he always did with sweets. She waited until he was sick, then went back home in a thoughtful state of mind.


Voice is certainly most noticeable when it's a unique-sounding 1st-person voice, but good voice is to be had in lots of places. It's about suiting your word choices and pacing to the story you're telling. A perfect match adds depth and texture and nuance to the text; it tells you something about the characters you're reading about and the story being told.

Everybody's Favorite Word—Freebies

Ooo, oo, oo. T-shirt lady (nicknamed "Angela") is giving away a t-shirt.
Perhaps you want the one that reads, "My inner critic can beat up your inner critic."

Independence Day

All the kerfuffle over the columnist who let her nine-year-old ride the subway alone has led to some interesting discussions on writer's boards about how much freedom to give child characters in middle grade novels. What's your opinion? Do we pretend that kids are being raised the same way we were, and let our child characters go around town by themselves doing interesting things and getting into scrapes? (And then kids read it as fantasy?) Do we make up reasons why this particular kid has freedom, like the parents are out of town or something? Or do we have them sit at home texting their friends or going on carefully supervised playdates or having their "adventures" in some after-school program, because that's what real middle-class American kids do?

How many of us haven't had the experience, as a child, of the thrill of getting to choose what we do, free of adult supervision? These are confidence- and independence-building experiences.
And how many of us haven't had the experience of realizing, while we're doing something (or shortly thereafter), that we've put ourselves in a stupid, dangerous position? These are learning experiences, and thank goodness our parents never found out about them.

It's hard to be a parent. It's hard to look at your children and know that they need experiences that build the skills of independence. And to look at them and know that if anything ever happened to them, your life would be over. It's hard to hear about the snatchings that happen in people's front yards (or even in their homes!) and not get awfully paranoid. Reasonably, we know that there are not more predators now than there were when we were children, or when our parents were children. There's just more news. But that doesn't make it easier for mothers and fathers.

I think the bottom line for writers is that there are still lots of different childhoods to be had in this country alone. It's certainly unusual to find a parent who lets their nine year old wander around a city alone, so if you describe a family like this, be sure to include the details that make those parents believable. On the other hand, the Penderwick girls and Ingrid Levin-Hill leave the house regularly to wander around in the woods. Their parents are still protective parents, but the authors have grounded us in a setting that makes these parents' attitudes believable.

Different parents are protective in different ways, and that's what results in the different degrees of freedom that different children experience. Sometimes it seems like writers think they're just writing about their child mc. Well, yes and no. Don't forget to give your reader a sense of who's making the rules: understanding the major forces in a child character's life is part of understanding the character. And for most children, there are no forces more powerful than their parents.

Gather Ye Manuscripts While Ye May

I'm wondering what your take would be on my current situation. I sent my YA manuscript to a publisher a year ago. Writer's Market gave a response time of 4 - 6 months.

Well, Writer's Market may or may not be accurate. But a year?

In November I sent a letter asking what the status of the manuscript was (mostly because I wanted to send the manuscript in to a contest. In January I received a form letter stating that the publisher was still considering the manuscript. I could call in 2 months if I didn't hear from them. In March I got the same form letter saying that if I didn't hear within 1 month I could call. I called last week and the receptionist said they were still reading the YA manuscripts and I should hear something soon.

"Still reading the YA manuscripts"? As though they had had only one shipment?

Now, I'm new to this, so I take anything that isn't a "no" as a good sign. But I'm wondering if maybe I'm reading too much into the "still considering." Does that mean at least one person read it and liked it? Or could it mean that they just didn't get around to reading the manuscript until now? I know every publishing house is different, but what's your professional opinion?

I hope the person sending those letters is properly embarrassed. A year?
A year is not a good sign, but it's true that, even so, your manuscript might be being read for the first time so long after submission. But you shouldn't think of anything submitted so long ago as an exclusive, and no publisher has the right to expect such an accommodation.
Once again, we see the importance of submitting widely and persistently. Some houses take far, far too long, and it'll serve them right if they miss their chance at something good.

Censorship or Not: a Quick Review

Things that are censorship:
When a library or bookstore decides not to carry a book because it offends the librarian or bookseller.

Things that are not censorship:
When a library or bookstore decides not to carry a book because they don't think a reasonable percentage of their clientele would be interested in it.

Things that are censorship:
When a library or bookstore decides to carry a book, but other people object because they are offended.

Things that are not censorship:
When a library or bookstore decides to carry a book, but asks the author not to read the sexy bits aloud where it could be overheard by children.

Things that are censorship:
Telling a poet she shouldn't open her fat mouth.

Things that are not censorship:
Telling a poet she's an idiot after she's opened her fat mouth.

Like Shooting Nitwits in a Barrel

It's just too easy. What real enjoyment can be had from making fun of My Beautiful Mommy, the book for mommies who want to explain to their kids why mommy needs a tummy tuck and a boob job?

(The reason is, of course, "For the same reason I gave you those Barbie dolls, sweetheart!")

...The book that Newsweek has just featured? The Newsweek whose staff can't remember the last time they were proud of themselves?

Yes, it's like sparkly pink spiders are crawling over your skin. Please admire the magical glitter that surrounds New-Improved-Mommy so that she reminds us of Barbie or Tinkerbell or Cinderella. Nice, huh?

And if we skip directly to the book's "publisher," Big Tent Books ("Beautifully Illustrated Books for Children of All Ages"), there are indeed many other targets as wide as a barn. I'm going to leave the commentary on this one to you guys:

But this highlights a truth: plastic surgery and self-publishing are related fairy tales.

The moral of both these stories, boys and girls, is that the heroine of the story (or the hero) is always special. And she's special because other people tell her she is. Even if she has to pay them to tell her that.

Swiss Family Ninjason

Some guy named Larry has introduced a discussion of the Ninja Replacement Score for literature.

The idea is: By how many characters in a work would replacement by ninjas be an improvement? So the best score is zero. And the worst score is all (which, by convention, is scored as "infinity"). This amuses me.

I think our offices would be improved if all the managing editors were replaced by ninjas (not that they're that far off already).

But after trying to play this game with my sister for a few minutes (her: "Tale of Despereaux: 1 --the narrator." me: "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants: infinity!") we found it hard to apply in ways that really represented how we felt about some books. ("So Gone with the Wind gets a 41, but The Kissing Hand gets a 2? Where's the justice?")

So we started a new game: what character needs to be added to a book to improve it? (me: "The Giving Tree: The Wuggly Ump" her: "Pride and Prejudice: Mr. T" me: "Love You Forever: Dr. Spock")

Who else wants to play?

The Answers Are All Yes

Do agented manuscripts get preferential treatment over requested slushie ones?

Not unless the agent's doing a better job of nagging me, or has let me know there's interest elsewhere and he/she needs an answer by X date. So the practical answer is yes, sometimes. But not because I think agented manuscripts are better than ones I've requested.

How often do you have editorial meetings?

You mean acquisition meetings? This varies a great deal from publisher to publisher. Could be weekly, could be monthly, could be whenever the editor has a chat with the boss.

Do you tell a writer that a manuscript went to a meeting before, after or never?

Any of the three. I'm not picky. Do you want to know before, after, or never?

Do you ever ask for revisions before making an offer?

Yes. I don't think it's fair to ask for more than one without a commitment on the table, but yes, sometimes I think I see something in a manuscript that I'm worried the acquisitions group won't, so I'll ask for a rewrite. This is also a test: the good writers are the ones who are good at rewriting. Some people are only good at first drafts, or terrible at using feedback effectively, and I'd like to know that about someone before I commit to working with them for months/years and spending many thousands of dollars on their project.

If you do ask for revisions or offer to look at something after a revision, do you think about that manuscript or is it out of sight, out of mind until it lands on your desk?

Out of sight, out of mind. And often out of memory. As in, it comes back and I have to work to remember what the project was, why I was excited about it, etc. This is not a reflection on your manuscript. This is just a fact of the publishing office. It's a high-distraction, sometimes high-stress environment.

The Heroic Journey of the Requested Manuscript

There is a wealth of information online about approaching publishers and the query process, all of which I've found invaluable. However, once your work is actually out there, under consideration, information seems to dry up. For instance:Three months ago, an Editor at a small but extremely successful publisher called me. She liked my sample chapters and asked me to send the full manuscript straight away.After scooping my jaw up off the floor, I did as she asked.So what happens next?Does the Editor make an effort to read it as soon as she can? Does it get lost in the shuffle? If she loves it, what's the next step?I know three months is NOTHING when waiting for feedback on a full, and that I'll probably be waiting for a while yet either way, but as I can't find much information on this stage of the process, I was wondering if you'd be kind enough to shed some light on what happens to a requested manuscript once it gets to a publisher.

The envelope comes in and is pulled from the mail by someone (an assistant / an intern) who's never heard your name before. They just pull it because it says "requested material" on it. That person passes it to me. They may remove the manuscript from its envelope and trash the envelope.

I look at the envelope/manuscript askance because I forgot your name ten seconds after I wrote it on the letter requesting the full. But I open the envelope and look at the cover letter and realize I did request this. I may have a memory of why, too! Points for me.

But whether my reaction is "oh, good! I was looking forward to seeing this!" or "I can't remember why I wanted this, but it'll probably be clear when I look at it," the next step is the same: it goes in a pile of things I need to read. Because right now I'm clearing off my desk or chair or inbox, and once that's finished, I have huge amounts of the work I'm paid for to do.

(a digression) Many authors idealistically think that it's part of my job to read things, and that's true, in an abstract way. In practical terms, though, there's always a huge amount of work to do for the books that are already underway, so the part of my job that's reading is usually the part on the subway or the weekend or any of the other times I'm sure as hell not being paid for. Sometimes I fantasize about taking time out of my day to sit comfortably with my reading and a cup of coffee and give everything the time and consideration it deserves. And then I roll my eyes or snort or laugh a little hysterically (depending on my current emotional stability) and get back to answering emails.

Eventually, I notice that the pile is getting a tad out of hand. Depending on what else has been going on, this may be when it fills its basket or when it's almost two feet tall. Noticing may be aided by agents in that pile nagging me, or maybe not. And depending on the time of year, the growth from one inch to 24 inches may happen over the course of three months or just two weeks. Sometimes I look at it and whimper.

But this stage is where I differ from a lot of editors: I have a pile. One pile, with one place to be, so when it's out of hand I do notice, and when I want to know how long the pile's been waiting, I can look at the stuff on the bottom. What many editors have is many, many piles on their desks, all of which are of varied content, import, and antiquity. I don't really understand how anybody works that way, but the proof is right across the hall from me. Lots of people do.

Ok, let's assume your manuscript has beaten the chaos and the crushing workload of the office and is actually in an editor's hands and being read with some focus. I'll also be reading with some foreboding, because experience shows that most fulls don't live up to the potential I saw in the partial. And, damn, that feels like a waste of my time! It's frustrating.

But maybe, maybe I read each successive chapter with growing hope and disbelief and, my god, is it... pleasure? And I finish the whole thing and think, that was great! I then have to get somebody else to read it to be sure the pressure hasn't gotten to me and I'm out of my mind.

And then (assuming I'm not nuts), we start the acquisition process, which varies a great deal from publisher to publisher, and may take a week or a month further before you hear anything from me.

...So when you finally do hear from me and I make an offer, it feels to you like an asteroid has fallen from the sky. But to your manuscript, it's the end of a journey full of perils and close calls, suspicion and doubt. It's like a beloved dog that you thought was dead suddenly showing up in your front yard covered in tire tracks and limping a little, but wagging his tail, happy to see you again. And with a suitcase full of money in his mouth!

...And then comes the really hard part.

Higher Risk for Authors and Booksellers? Where Do We Sign Up?

Oz and Ends runs the numbers on the non-returnable, profit-sharing publishing model that Harper is trying out. I think I agree about the profit-sharing being a very dubious deal for authors.

But non-returnability... I think it may possible to construct shared-markdown and remainder-in-place policies that make sense for booksellers. I'm not sure I've seen any yet, but I'm not ready to throw the idea out entirely... yet.

I haven't seen the details of Harper's new venture, but my hopes aren't real high. People in the position to make big decisions at publishers don't often seem to have many friends who are authors or booksellers. Now wouldn't that be nice? To have a colleague on the other side of the fence that you could knock the numbers around with before you make decisions that may or may not piss them and all their counterparts off? Yeah, I'm crazy.

I'm Back!

Yes, I've missed you, too. I'm going to be very vague about my whereabouts these past several days, though, so my coworkers can't identify me. It was somewhere where I thought I would have lots of time to sift the many entries to the poetry contest, but was I wrong? And how. Thanks for your patience.

I have a friend who is a Navy SEAL turned Dr. of physiology and chiropractic. He's written a children's novel concerning physiology to teach kids about good posture and how participating in activities in a physically correct manner is beneficial. Sounds crazy, but he's managed to do it and make it cool. For instance, learning to push your scooter with both feet (one at a time of course) helps your overall balance....both legs are strengthened, not just the side you favor, and this helps in playing sports, etc. He wants to include a DVD with the book to demonstrate the techniques. Can you give him a little guidance about querying
agents/publishing houses? It's fiction, but is full of non-fiction, teaching elements. Any advice you have on how to proceed with this would be greatly appreciated.

Your friend needs to fully grasp two facts about the business.

1. Absolutely no one is going to buy a novel for its nonfiction physiology content. And when I say "no one" I mean no agent, no editor, no parent, and no child. These people will only buy it if it is a good story, well told.

2. There is a not large but meaningful section of slush made up entirely of yahoos who are committed to explaining the importance of their chosen careers to children (eg tax audits, cosmology... remember these?). Their manuscripts are universally awful. So: your friend does not want to be mistaken for one of them.

Most of us are familiar with the expression "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down". (Some of us, in fact, can't think of this expression without hearing Julie Andrews in our heads. Damn Mary Poppins.) It's important for your friend to recognize that what he has here is medicine. Physiology is not the big, bitter pill that "Insurance Structures and Their Importance to You" would be (as a completely random example), but it is still a pill. In order for this manuscript to succeed, he must have wrapped the information so completely in a story that children want to consume that the teaching component is indistinguishable.

And what this means to his queries and cover letters is most likely something he won't want to hear: he shouldn't mention the physiology content at all. He should query and submit this just like he would if it were a story written for its own sake, because if the manuscript does not work on the strength of the story alone, it will. not. sell.

You didn't mention why he felt a novel would be a better vector for this information than a nonfiction manuscript. Personally, I think it's an odd choice. Still, I never say never. Good luck!

Audience? What Audience?

I have just read yet another reference (in a review on Fuse #8) to "the current 'Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus' trend of breaking down the fourth wall and allowing the reader the chance to affect a picture book character’s actions." Surely I am not the only out-of-the-loop person wondering what are the first three walls. Could you please explain?

"The fourth wall" is an expression that comes from theater. The people on stage are pretending they are in a room: three of the room's walls are right there, on stage, with the furniture and other props. The fourth wall, the one closest to the audience, is not there. But because it is a play, the actors pretend there is a wall there (and not an audience), and interact solely with each other (and not the audience).
So "to break the fourth wall" is when an actor addresses the audience, breaking the suspension of disbelief that allows us to pretend what we're watching is its own self-contained world.

By extension, the expression has come to mean any situation in which the presence of an audience is acknowledged. Do you remember in Ferris Bueller's Day Off when Matthew Broderick looks directly at the camera, sharing a joke with the audience? That's breaking the fourth wall.

In children's books, this is not a new thing. You've read The Monster At the End of This Book, yes? Basically, breaking the fourth wall is just another way (though not the only one) to work in audience participation. Audience participation is very compelling to audiences everywhere, but especially so to children. Children don't see why they should be patient and let the artform reveal itself before they start being entertained. And, for that matter, neither do I.

Readers, what other children's books can you think of that ask for audience participation?

How Successful Authors Think

The Children's Book Insider has a great feature article about the mindset of successful authors. (It's near the bottom of the page.) My thanks to Laura Backes for putting it so nicely!

Do You Need a T-Shirt? Yes, You Do.

This and many more are HERE.

It's Official!

Melinda Beavers wins! Congrats, Melinda!

Miss Snark had a vicious poodle, and I have an adorable paper-eating monster. (So I believe I win, too. Nyah, nyah.)

Thanks to Melinda, and also many sincere thanks to everyone who sent me a slush monster! And you seemed to have such fun doing it! I have awesome readers.

(Melinda, you mentioned on your blog that you weren't quite happy with him... email me ok?)

Waiting for a Bookseller to Read Your Book?

Here's the delay.

50 Ways to Leave your Agent

BookEnds has a great post about divorcing your agent—one that gives you an idea of how much work an agent does. Good reading for everyone.

And Nathan Bransford, who might run for blogger class president (he's so cute! and upbeat! if he wasn't so smart, I'd have to kill him!), has a very good post about how long it takes to sell a book. Yes, it's thaaaaaat looooooong.

Also, don't forget to vote below for the blog monster/mascot!

The History of Rejection

Rejection has been with us since our very beginnings; it could be termed an innate human quality. I think it's high time we embraced rejection, rather than, you know, rejecting it.

Scientists theorize that the very earliest communities of homo-sapiens were non-verbal*, but as social structures and patterns developed, the use of rocks, fallen branches, and other blunt objects as modes of communication became, understandably, marginalized. So came the need for a new form of rejection; one that could hurt but not injure another member of the community. Thus, language was born.

So it is probable that mankind's first real word, as with many toddlers, was "No!".

No plays an important part in all of human culture, and is to be found as a pivotal element in the oldest stories and religions. What were God's first and second interactions with Adam and Eve (not to mention several more thereafter)? To forbid, and to punish. Both are versions of the Eternal No.

Once you start looking for it, you'll realize that No is everywhere. The ten commandments are all versions of No, with the exception of the fourth and fifth (keep the sabbath; honor your parents), which, as two of the things people are most likely to want to say no to, represents an implied no as well (ie, God gets to say no, not you.)

But in this, as in publishing, no amount of No seems to have the desired effect. One imagines Jesus talking to the angels and saying, "What the hell is wrong with these people? We post the guidelines, but do they read them? And don't even talk to me about conferences. The last time I was down there, every blasted 'disciple' had to write a frickin' book about it, and most of it rhymed! Practically made my ears bleed. Ah, frick, and here's another prayer from Pat Robertson. I hate agents who want to talk about every last line of the contract."

* I'm totally making this up.

BookHabit Contest

BookHabit is running a contest for undiscovered authors, and the grand prize is $5,000 (USD).
The contest ends in May.
Minimum length for an entry is 50,000 words.

BookHabit is a new sort of internet service where authors can upload unpublished work and make it available for individual sale digitally. The website says:

"The price of a book starts at (USD) 2.50 and increases with its popularity, as indicated by the number of buyers. It is free for writers to post books on the site, and they receive 40% of the sale price – which compares well with the 5% to 12% writers receive on the shelf price of their books sold by retail book stores."

I have my doubts about how popular this sort of service may really be, but I'm curious to see how it does.

The contest looks like it's on the up-and-up to me, but you should be aware that you will not be paid for any downloads of your work until at least 20 downloads have been made. And of course you should read the terms and conditions for yourself.

Anyone going to give it a try?

Blog Mascot Finalists

Ok, so I've been procrastinating. And indecisive. I'm not proud of myself. But it was so hard to choose!
The final vote I leave to my readers. But I'll stop taking votes at the end of the day Monday. Or, you know, whenever I get around to it.

Work For Hire... Respect for Whom?

I have one picture book published with a medium-sized NY publisher, a handful of magazine sales (to well-known children's magazine), and do a lot of work-for-hire writing for packagers (such as licensed character books, novelty books, etc.). Some writers I know think trade editors look down on writers who do this type of WFH, and they go to some lengths to hide their WFH. (Using pen names, not mentioned it on their website or in cover letters, etc.) Others feel that WFH is a good thing and they're proud to mention it on their websites and in cover letters. I'd love to know your thoughts on this.

I know some WFH writers who don't want their names on the books because they're unhappy with the changes their editors made, but let's assume we're not talking about that.

I'm sure there are some editors who look down on WFH work. I would hope that it's not many—surely everyone knows Ann Martin wrote piles and piles of formulaic Babysitter's Club books before she went on to write Belle Teal, The Doll People, and A Corner of the Universe.

So while a solid history in WFH or series books doesn't necessarily say a great deal about your work's literary merit, it does say that you're someone who has proven you can work to deadline and provide workable text.

I would hope most editors consider WFH as journeyman's work: work which, for a number of authors, can be a meaningful apprenticeship in the trade.

All My Favorite People Are Smart Asses

101 Reasons to Stop Writing, which I've been enjoying for their monthly demotivators, has an interview with Lynn Viehl (who writes for adults, but nobody's perfect).

Sean Lindsay (the man behind the blog) is crusading to get more people to give up writing. Not to give away the ending, but Lynn doesn't do anything to further that cause. Still, everyone who's seen a slush pile appreciates your work, Sean. Here's hoping you keep up the good work, and Lynn keeps kicking ass so hard she needs new shoes.

A sample demotivator:

Books, Books, Books.

Apartment Therapy brings us the stairwell as bookshelf (Thanks to R N Bramwell for the link):

This is great fodder for my fantasy of an apartment where everything is bookshelves. I'll curl up in a bed igloo of books and on the bed, this quilt.

Publisher Rep Blogs: In-Office Signings, Repping to B&N

The Anonymous Publisher Rep answers questions from readers! More to come, he/she says. Just in case his/her identity is guessable, he/she has requested this disclaimer be included:

Disclaimer: I [the publisher rep] am not blogging on behalf of my company, nor any of its affiliates. All opinions stated in this post are mine and mine alone. Nothing posted here should be taken as a representation of my company's views, nor am I acting here as an affiliate of my company, should I inadvertently reveal its identity.

1) Will you further explain what you mean by "authors are a brand" but "books are product/art?"
Publishing is an industry that sells artists' output. Writers are the artists, books are their art. Some books might be akin to prints bought at the mall, some a Picasso, perhaps. But all books must be purchased, and purchased by readers who choose to buy one book over all others. A book is a product in this way – it is something a consumer must choose to buy (or borrow from the library, download to an eBook reader, etc.).

The author is the brand in that readers begin to recognize an author's name and will buy all their titles (or "products"). Readers initially pick up an author's book because it's in a genre they like – if they like the book, they'll want to buy the second book. That's why you see the same authors' names at the top of the bestseller list. You know what you're going to get when you see Stephen King's or James Paterson's name on a book. And who doubts that no matter what she publishes next, everyone will buy J.K. Rowling's next book?

2) What is an in-office signing? And again, is this something only done for lead titles? Who pays for the writer's transport there if the writer is not from NYC? Again, this is really for lead titles, correct?
An in-office signing is exactly what it sounds like: when an author signs books in the publisher's office. A few times a year, an author that lives locally (publishers have offices outside NYC) will come to the office and talk about his or her book and sign copies for employees. The company gives away these copies. Not everyone in my office is in my position of receiving nearly every book on our list for free, but I've purchased one book for myself in the past year: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (I've bought a few more as gifts). That is also the only book I've read not published by my publisher. How helpful is this information? I don't think I'm answering what you want me to here, but that's because I don't organize author tours – that's something a publicist does, and meeting the workers inside the publishing house is nice, but not terribly helpful to your book's sales. If you want to talk to people who both love books and can help it sell better, talk with your local booksellers and librarians.

3) You mention you are on the road a lot. To the Barnes & Noble headquarters or to INDIVIDUAL Barnes and Nobles?
A buyer at B&N's corporate headquarters makes buying decisions for all their chain locations. The people in the individual B&Ns get what the person in the headquarters decides they do. And different genres have different buyers. One person buys adult fiction, another buys, say, cookbooks. This is the same – though I'm simplifying – at the other big places. Sales people for the chains meet with the buyers.

Here's something important to understand: at a B&N or Borders, the person selling your book to the consumer probably did not make the decision to stock it. The booksellers on the floor at a chain store probably didn't have access to the advance copies or entirely free copies a buyer at a smaller store would. At an independent, you're more likely to buy a book from the person who decided to put it in the store. And advance reading copies (ARCs) are sent to the buyers, so an independent bookseller – who works alongside the buyer or is the handseller on the floor – is more likely to have read it. Plus, staff at an independent is usually smaller so each staff member has greater access to the arc's. All in all, the staff in a small store is more likely to read your book and handsell it, because it's easier for them to have read it. (But, they get a lot of books to read so that doesn't mean it's easier for them to read yours particularly.)

Oh, Wook at the Dawling Adults! Dey Think Dey're Writing for Children!

Beloved Uncle Al blogs about Hollywood writers turning to writing for children, you know, when they don't have anything better to do.

I especially liked point 5:

5.) Carefully read and consider the tone of the following quotes:
a.) "I'm a father of five and often lament the lack of really creative, funny children’s books.”
b.) “I’m finding that in good children’s books, the text isn’t just describing the picture but the two are working together to advance the storytelling.”
c.) “And, sometimes, there’s also a chance to make a political point.”

But I disagree that these three statements all say the same thing about the speaker. I would have interpreted them as meaning:
a.) I don't know a thing about the market!
b.) I don't know a thing about building picture books!
c.) I don't know a thing about children!

I'd like to point out to any Hollywood scriptwriters out there that having children does not mean that you understand them. It means you live with them. Any child could tell you this—they know that simply living with adults does not necessarily put you anywhere close to understanding how their wee little minds work. And I'll tell you, the wee little minds of some adults flummox me sometimes.