I find I can’t choose examples of what not to do from the sweet, sincere people who entered the contest. There were a couple that kind of asked for it, though. So... some tips:
1. If your first two lines are so rhythmic that they could be the start of a limerick, they’re almost certainly too rhythmic.
2. You probably don’t want to start your manuscript with a run-on sentence.
3. Have your manuscript read by someone who knows a lot of slang, just in case you’ve given a tall pointy structure a vaguely Asian-sounding name which to other people is a term for male genitalia.
Thanks to all for playing!