The wealthy and handsome Captain Crewe deposits his beloved daughter Sara at a London boarding school. The stern headmistress of the school, Miss Minchin, resents Sara from the first day of class. But not only is Sara clever, she is also uncommonly good, and gifted with the ability to tell stories that win her a fiercely devoted group of followers and the nickname Princess Sara. During Sara's birthday party, Minchin discovers that Captain Crewe has died of brain fever and left Sara penniless. Enraged, Minchin strips Sara of her finery and forces her to become a maid-of-all-work. Sara invents a fantasy-life she calls "the magic" that warms her despite the bitter cold. Someone leaves her secret gifts that make her believe ever more strongly in the magic. Her benefactor is the school's mysterious new neighbor -- Captain Crewe's business partner, who has been searching the globe for little Sara. He adopts her, and she becomes Princess Sara once again.
It's ok to start your synopsis a little further into the story than the manuscript does, if the problem comes later. You couldn't skip over the very beginning of Hatchet, of course. But here, the beginning is all prologue to Sara's fall from privilege and how she makes the best of it-- with goodness, imagination, and spirit-- and how she finds a happy ending in spite of her misfortunes and enemies. For a short synopsis, start with the problem.
Showing posts with label synopses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label synopses. Show all posts
Monday, December 1, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Synopsis: The Ear, The Eye and The Arm by Nancy Farmer
In 22nd-century Zimbabwe, the children of General Matsika – Tendai, Rita and Kuda – escape their sheltered life for an adventure in Harare, and are immediately kidnapped and sent to the plastic mines.
Good beginning--we definitely know we're in the future.
The General hires three mutant detectives, Ear, Eye, and Arm, to find them. The detectives, always one step behind the resourceful children, follow them from the mines to the walled-in, secret village of Resthaven – a protected island of traditional tribal life in the middle of Harare – and on to the subtler dangers of Mrs. Horsepool-Worthington, a snobbish society woman who plans to hold the children for ransom.
You're skipping over a bunch of the unnecessary (for these purposes) details, but I'm not sure the ones you've chosen to share are serving your synopsis.
The detectives and children finally meet at the Mile-High McIlwaine Hotel for a showdown with evil telepaths known as the Masks, who threaten all of Zimbabwe. Sensitive Tendai defeats the Masks, with help from both friends and enemies, and grows into a hero.
If there are going to be evil telepaths, you should have introduced them a little earlier. It sounds like they just materialize in the story for the sake of the ending. And (hold on!) Tendai is the hero? That's not at all clear.
This book has a very involved plot, and while part of the appeal is the adventure, another important part is the humor. A synopsis of this story has the challenging task of conveying adventure without trying to tell about all the adventures, and at least implying the threads of traditional folklore and comedy that run through the text.
This one's intriguing, and I might request a manuscript from it, but it could still use some work.
Good beginning--we definitely know we're in the future.
The General hires three mutant detectives, Ear, Eye, and Arm, to find them. The detectives, always one step behind the resourceful children, follow them from the mines to the walled-in, secret village of Resthaven – a protected island of traditional tribal life in the middle of Harare – and on to the subtler dangers of Mrs. Horsepool-Worthington, a snobbish society woman who plans to hold the children for ransom.
You're skipping over a bunch of the unnecessary (for these purposes) details, but I'm not sure the ones you've chosen to share are serving your synopsis.
The detectives and children finally meet at the Mile-High McIlwaine Hotel for a showdown with evil telepaths known as the Masks, who threaten all of Zimbabwe. Sensitive Tendai defeats the Masks, with help from both friends and enemies, and grows into a hero.
If there are going to be evil telepaths, you should have introduced them a little earlier. It sounds like they just materialize in the story for the sake of the ending. And (hold on!) Tendai is the hero? That's not at all clear.
This book has a very involved plot, and while part of the appeal is the adventure, another important part is the humor. A synopsis of this story has the challenging task of conveying adventure without trying to tell about all the adventures, and at least implying the threads of traditional folklore and comedy that run through the text.
This one's intriguing, and I might request a manuscript from it, but it could still use some work.
Synopsis: Hatchet by Gary Paulsen
Brian Robeson is lost and alone in the mosquito-infested Canadian wilderness. The bush plane he was flying in to visit his father lies at the bottom of a lake with a dead pilot inside.
Good beginning.
Brian bumbles along the first few days after the accident and then experiences his ultimate low point when he sees a search plane but the pilot doesnʼt see him. After a failed suicide attempt Brian starts to embrace his situation.
You go from "bumbling" straight to a suicide attempt? We need a better sense of the despair that Brian feels to make suicide acceptable so soon in this synopsis. Perhaps it's best not mentioned here.
Armed with only a hatchet, Brian figures out how to make fire and procure food. He has way more setbacks and frustrations than successes but by not counting on being rescued Brian embarks on a life-path of survival as he physically, emotionally and spiritually becomes a part of the wilderness.
"Way more" is stylistically out of character for the text you're describing. Your synopsis should reflect your text whenever possible. Also: "life-path"? This sounds like new-age bibble in the face of a story about survival in the wilderness.
When rescue finally comes he meets it not as a scared, helpless kid but as a mature young man at home in his body and surroundings.
There's clearly the seed of a good survival story here, but there are enough inconsistencies in the way this synopsis was written that I think I would pass on seeing the manuscript.
Good beginning.
Brian bumbles along the first few days after the accident and then experiences his ultimate low point when he sees a search plane but the pilot doesnʼt see him. After a failed suicide attempt Brian starts to embrace his situation.
You go from "bumbling" straight to a suicide attempt? We need a better sense of the despair that Brian feels to make suicide acceptable so soon in this synopsis. Perhaps it's best not mentioned here.
Armed with only a hatchet, Brian figures out how to make fire and procure food. He has way more setbacks and frustrations than successes but by not counting on being rescued Brian embarks on a life-path of survival as he physically, emotionally and spiritually becomes a part of the wilderness.
"Way more" is stylistically out of character for the text you're describing. Your synopsis should reflect your text whenever possible. Also: "life-path"? This sounds like new-age bibble in the face of a story about survival in the wilderness.
When rescue finally comes he meets it not as a scared, helpless kid but as a mature young man at home in his body and surroundings.
There's clearly the seed of a good survival story here, but there are enough inconsistencies in the way this synopsis was written that I think I would pass on seeing the manuscript.
Synopsis: Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
Sophie Hatter has a boring life, and is almost sure she wants it that way. Then the Witch of the Waste casts a spell on her and turns her into an old woman. Sophie decides to hobble out and seek her fortune. She makes a pact with Calcifer the fire demon and enters into the service of the Wizard Howl. He eats girls' hearts, but Sophie's not worried since she's no longer a girl. Soon Sophie must save Calcifer and Howl from a bargain that helps neither,
What bargain that helps neither?
save her younger sister from Howl's heartless courtship, and save the Kingdom of Ingary from the Witch. Sophie learns that she's not as timid as she thought, she has an incredible talent for magic, that she's not immune to the Wizard's charms, and that in Ingary, even the oldest of three can live happily ever after.
Oldest of three? What?
This is mostly well done, and I might be intrigued enough to request this. But this highlights a common difficulty in writing a synopsis-- forgetting what elements will be confusing/meaningless to someone who hasn't read the book.
What bargain that helps neither?
save her younger sister from Howl's heartless courtship, and save the Kingdom of Ingary from the Witch. Sophie learns that she's not as timid as she thought, she has an incredible talent for magic, that she's not immune to the Wizard's charms, and that in Ingary, even the oldest of three can live happily ever after.
Oldest of three? What?
This is mostly well done, and I might be intrigued enough to request this. But this highlights a common difficulty in writing a synopsis-- forgetting what elements will be confusing/meaningless to someone who hasn't read the book.
Synopsis: First Test by Tamora Pierce
The daughter of the Yamani Ambassador, ten-year-old Kethry of Mindelan, was exposed to a different culture than her native Tortall. Her decision to become the first openly female Tortallan knight meets with resistance – from the knight training master.
The first two sentences don't really flow into each other. I'd be wondering if your writing style is this disjointed. What you've left out is that in Tortall's male-dominated knighthood, there is a striking exception: Alanna, who is (can I recall now?) King's Champion, or something? So now Kethry is the first girl to go through knight training without hiding her gender.
Allowed to train, on probation, Kethry also has to deal with the prejudice of the boys and their attempts to force her to leave. While her prior Yamani training further sets her apart, it enables her to physically fight to right the wrong in the hazing – bullying – she sees. Only an anonymous benefactor gives her hope in the form of exercises for the upper body.
Nevermind about "in the form of exercises for the upper body"; it's unnecessary detail. Replace it with "of finishing her first year in training".
Kethry pushes herself to persevere through black eyes, bloody noses, and punishments for fighting and not completing her homework. The end of her year of probation brings tears as she readies herself to leave. The training master surprises everyone by allowing her to return the next year.
"Black eyes, bloody noses" is the kind of detail that's useful in this context. But I can't remember now: did the book end this anticlimactically? You had me pretty interested until that last sentence.
The first two sentences don't really flow into each other. I'd be wondering if your writing style is this disjointed. What you've left out is that in Tortall's male-dominated knighthood, there is a striking exception: Alanna, who is (can I recall now?) King's Champion, or something? So now Kethry is the first girl to go through knight training without hiding her gender.
Allowed to train, on probation, Kethry also has to deal with the prejudice of the boys and their attempts to force her to leave. While her prior Yamani training further sets her apart, it enables her to physically fight to right the wrong in the hazing – bullying – she sees. Only an anonymous benefactor gives her hope in the form of exercises for the upper body.
Nevermind about "in the form of exercises for the upper body"; it's unnecessary detail. Replace it with "of finishing her first year in training".
Kethry pushes herself to persevere through black eyes, bloody noses, and punishments for fighting and not completing her homework. The end of her year of probation brings tears as she readies herself to leave. The training master surprises everyone by allowing her to return the next year.
"Black eyes, bloody noses" is the kind of detail that's useful in this context. But I can't remember now: did the book end this anticlimactically? You had me pretty interested until that last sentence.
Synopsis: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Katniss's expert archery skills enable her to provide for her widowed mother and younger sister by supplementing their income with illegally procured meat. But when Katsa is chosen as an unwilling regional representative to The Games, a highly-anticipated, fight-to-the finish competition, her unusual skill becomes her only chance to survive.
Watch out for changing your characters' names in the middle of the synopsis. (Yes, you've just been reading Graceling, I know.) Don't say "fight to the finish" when you're just introducing the book to people-- this is a fight to the death, and it's important to bring that across.
Protecting herself in the competition is challenging. Deciding whether to protect other competitors is heart-breaking. As the cruelties of the Game grow more fierce, Katniss's anger at the vicious system escalates. Instead of killing her final competitor and friend, Katniss turns her energies to out-witting the system and forcing an ending with more than one survivor. Although she triumphs over the most vicious elements of the Game, she isn't happy; the self-knowledge she has gained is as alarming as it is enlightening. This dystopian tale looks backward to the age of gladiators and forward to what we may become.
Excellent job! You got all the most important pieces of this plot, didn't get sidetracked talking about the possible romantic implications (which may or may not come to fruit in a further book) and wrapped it all up in an easily-grasped, almost catchy way.
Watch out for changing your characters' names in the middle of the synopsis. (Yes, you've just been reading Graceling, I know.) Don't say "fight to the finish" when you're just introducing the book to people-- this is a fight to the death, and it's important to bring that across.
Protecting herself in the competition is challenging. Deciding whether to protect other competitors is heart-breaking. As the cruelties of the Game grow more fierce, Katniss's anger at the vicious system escalates. Instead of killing her final competitor and friend, Katniss turns her energies to out-witting the system and forcing an ending with more than one survivor. Although she triumphs over the most vicious elements of the Game, she isn't happy; the self-knowledge she has gained is as alarming as it is enlightening. This dystopian tale looks backward to the age of gladiators and forward to what we may become.
Excellent job! You got all the most important pieces of this plot, didn't get sidetracked talking about the possible romantic implications (which may or may not come to fruit in a further book) and wrapped it all up in an easily-grasped, almost catchy way.
Synopsis: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis
When four children walk through a coat-filled wardrobe in England, they find the land of Narnia, a magical place filled with fantastic creatures and talking animals. An evil witch, who has imprisoned Narnia in ice and snow, deceives and captures one of the children. His brother and sisters must seek help from the great lion Aslan, Narnia’s creator and rightful ruler, to release Narnia and rescue Edmund. But the witch invokes the ancient “deep magic,” and Aslan offers himself as a sacrifice in place of Edmund.
Don't use "the" here for magic I'm not familiar with. Quotations like these, too, are worrisome when you're describing your own ideas/work. I would have said, "But the witch invokes ancient magic, and Aslan is forced to offer himself as a sacrifice in place of Edmund."
The witch kills Aslan on an ancient stone table. Then she and her evil army wage war on the grieving Narnians. The children, armed with gifts from Aslan, become leaders in a desperate, losing battle. But unknown to the witch, Aslan’s sacrifice has unleashed a “deeper magic.” Aslan rises from the dead to defeat the witch and redeem Narnia from its eternal winter.
"Ancient stone table" is maybe unnecessary here. "Narnians?" We haven't been introduced to these people, so maybe you want to say something like "inhabitants of Narnia." Again, don't use those quotation marks. And end this "and redeem Narnia with the help of the children." We like to see power in the hands of the main characters, remember. The victory should be theirs as well.
So a few tips, but good work.
Don't use "the" here for magic I'm not familiar with. Quotations like these, too, are worrisome when you're describing your own ideas/work. I would have said, "But the witch invokes ancient magic, and Aslan is forced to offer himself as a sacrifice in place of Edmund."
The witch kills Aslan on an ancient stone table. Then she and her evil army wage war on the grieving Narnians. The children, armed with gifts from Aslan, become leaders in a desperate, losing battle. But unknown to the witch, Aslan’s sacrifice has unleashed a “deeper magic.” Aslan rises from the dead to defeat the witch and redeem Narnia from its eternal winter.
"Ancient stone table" is maybe unnecessary here. "Narnians?" We haven't been introduced to these people, so maybe you want to say something like "inhabitants of Narnia." Again, don't use those quotation marks. And end this "and redeem Narnia with the help of the children." We like to see power in the hands of the main characters, remember. The victory should be theirs as well.
So a few tips, but good work.
Synopsis: The Perilous Gard by Elizabeth Marie Pope
Kate Sutton, neither charming, nor beautiful, is blamed for her sister’s too-frank letter to Queen Mary and sent away to an obscure holding in the north of England known as The Perilous Gard.
Here she meets her guardian’s younger brother, Christopher, who blames himself for his niece’s loss down the castle well. Kate can’t believe he’s responsible, and when she hears a local story about the “fairy folk” she suggests the child may have been kidnapped by the remnant of a druidic cult. Finally convinced, Christopher offers himself in exchange for the child, correctly guessing the folk are planning a human sacrifice like one described in the ballad Tam Lin.
Kate witnesses the exchange and is taken as a slave to the same underground world. She finds Christopher and works to counter the mind games designed to make him a willing sacrifice. When she escapes the caves to meet him by the bonfire on Halloween night she’s able to reach his mind—saving them both by breaking through the spell of words the folk use, but the next time she sees him he is with her sister. Kate rejects the Fairy Queen’s offer of “magic” to bring him back, only to learn it was one last trick, to make her question his love when he did choose her.
Nice job. It might have been nice to have a sense from the beginning that this was going to be fantasy/romance (it sounds very historical-fiction at first), but I'd definitely request a manuscript from this synopsis. "Neither charming nor beautiful" is a good beginning; it shows me a bit of the author's hand, and the plot sounds like an appealing twist on traditional stories of fairies.
Here she meets her guardian’s younger brother, Christopher, who blames himself for his niece’s loss down the castle well. Kate can’t believe he’s responsible, and when she hears a local story about the “fairy folk” she suggests the child may have been kidnapped by the remnant of a druidic cult. Finally convinced, Christopher offers himself in exchange for the child, correctly guessing the folk are planning a human sacrifice like one described in the ballad Tam Lin.
Kate witnesses the exchange and is taken as a slave to the same underground world. She finds Christopher and works to counter the mind games designed to make him a willing sacrifice. When she escapes the caves to meet him by the bonfire on Halloween night she’s able to reach his mind—saving them both by breaking through the spell of words the folk use, but the next time she sees him he is with her sister. Kate rejects the Fairy Queen’s offer of “magic” to bring him back, only to learn it was one last trick, to make her question his love when he did choose her.
Nice job. It might have been nice to have a sense from the beginning that this was going to be fantasy/romance (it sounds very historical-fiction at first), but I'd definitely request a manuscript from this synopsis. "Neither charming nor beautiful" is a good beginning; it shows me a bit of the author's hand, and the plot sounds like an appealing twist on traditional stories of fairies.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Open Mic Night at the Synopsis Lounge
My question is more of a research problem, though one I imagine other writers might have. I'm working on a synopsis of my finished novel, but I'm having a terrible time finding examples of good and bad synopses. (Query letters? Pitch paragraphs? Twenty-five line hooks? Those I've found examples of in abundance, but synopses not so much.) I've found numerous articles offering synopsis advice (without examples), but I'm one of those learn-better-by-example people, so they're of limited utility. Perhaps I'm not looking hard enough?Blog readers to the rescue! This is your chance to practice your synopsis skills and help each other.
Please email me with synopses of well-known, published middle-grade/YA novels (synopses should be no more than 150 words). I'll post them with my comments regarding thoroughness, clarity, style, and appeal in a separate post.
Do:
- Think of this as your chance to tell a stranger why they should read a great book.
- Keep it to under two minutes (or, for these purposes, 150 words).
- Get bogged down in detail.
- Describe a little-known or unpublished book. Not helpful.
- What makes it all appealing. If you've summarized everything except the reason readers will be drawn through the plot, you've failed.
- The ending. I don't care if it's a surprise. Tell me how it fricking ends. (Readers: be aware that this will mean spoilers. Don't read a contest synopsis if you don't want to know how the book in question ends.)
- The title of the book. Very likely it will be obvious from the synopsis, but if I can't tell and you haven't told me, I won't use it.
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