Thursday, May 31, 2007


That was a riot. Unfortunately, there weren't many that I felt were making classic mistakes. Classic mistakes are, after all, usually small-but-teeth-grinding. You all have a clear talent for gigantic, snort-my-margarita-through-my-nose mistakes (which turns out to be painful, fyi). Thank you all for playing!

I do want to point out one more submission to the contest, and ask a question. This one must be from a real manuscript.
Akana stretched in bed, relishing the cool spaces that her body hadn't warmed overnight, and tilting her face until the morning sun shone pink through her eyelids.

You were worried about this first line? That's not bad at all. You keep that up.



Anonymous said...

EA, I didn't know that your submissions would be such a laugh-riot, over-the-top collection. I'm humbled by them. No, mine was not a real first line. I thought I was submitting to the unannounced category of "Most Subtly Bad," or "Biggest Poetic Yawn," or "A Promise of No Action," or "Too Many Writing Classes, No Idea for Plot," or the ultimate: "The Dreaded Waking-Up Beginning." Won't you please declare me a winner in one of those categories?

Anonymous said...

Let it win in the "Worst High-School Personal Essay" category. I think we've all written and read our fair share of those.

Editorial Anonymous said...

All right, you can have "Poetic Yawn," but not "Biggest."

It's not exciting, but it's really not anywhere near terrible. You're going to have to work much harder next time.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for enjoying my guitar (kattarh (sp?)).

Andy J Smith illustration said...

That line's soaked with sensory details! Very nice.

Anonymous said...

Smacks Anonymous's Cynical Daughter. I thought it was lovely!

To the other winners: Kudos all around for a great batch of hysterical awfulness.

Anonymous said...

No, no, no! No smacking! My cynical daughter just has incredibly tuned "BS detectors," as my father-in-law used to say.

Really, that entry was supposed to be a joke! It was supposed to be self-indulgent and pointless. A Beautiful Bore.

Anonymous said...

Nice imagery or not, it's still a character waking up in bed...a big no-no in most cases.

Anonymous said...

Is she waking up or is she merely having hot flashes?

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