Sunday, July 20, 2008

Best/Worst Pitch Contest!!

Ok, ok, I'm buckling to pressure. It's the first Best/Worst Pitch Contest.

Wondering if your pitch is making a classic mistake or boring your listener to tears? Just want to pitch something awful for the fun of being bad? Go to it!

Send your entries (no more than FOUR SENTENCES per pitch) to my email (not the comments section), and put PITCH CONTEST in the subject line, please.
CONTEST HAS ENDED; THANK YOU FOR PLAYING

Categories include, but will not be limited to:
The Metaphor Prize for the kind of comparison that haunts you long after the pitch session
The Bush Sr/Jr Honor for incomprehensible chain-of-thought rambling
Bush Sr. once said, "Remember Lincoln, going to his knees in times of trial and the Civil War and all that stuff. You can't be. And we are blessed. So don't feel sorry for — don't cry for me, Argentina. Message: I care." Not unlike some of the pitches I've heard.
The Restraining Order Commendation for overall scariness/creepiness
The Drivel Award for use of cliches and the plotlines of books everyone has read
The Robert Munsch Citation for most dysfunctional relationship in a pitch
The I Need a Shower Now and a Cocktail Immediately After Trophy for anything that makes me ask myself why I wanted to be an editor

...and of course as many positive awards as necessary.
Can't wait to see what you come up with!

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you drunk, EA? Feeling dizzy? Maybe you should lie down for a moment and rethink this...

Colorado Writer said...

Awesome!

Merry Monteleone said...

Oh my goodness, I was actually kidding!!! But, yay, this should be fun *squelches the urge to break into maniacal laughter*

Do you want serious pitches, too? or only the made up, geared to cause chuckles and head shakes variety?

Sarah Laurenson said...

Thanks, EA!!! Though I think you may be biting off more than you can chew, in over your head, up a creek without a paddle. That doesn't mean I'm not submitting one. ;-)

Hope there are a lot of funny ones to help you remember why you're an editor and doing this blog.

Editorial Anonymous said...

Serious pitches, too.

beth said...

Thanks EA! I feel like I've been missing out on contests lately; I've just sent you my entry and I can't wait! Thanks again for doing this...

Deirdre Mundy said...

EA-- just so you know, the attachment I sent you got ran through my virus scan first... I know pitches don't NEED to include illustrations, but I figured, hey, you don't need any artistic skill to create art on a computer, right??!?!?!

translation: MUAHAHAHAHA.......

Susan said...

Wow, Christmas already? Thanks!!

Are we limited to an age range--picture books, chapter books, YA ok?

Any limit on the number we can send you, in case genius runs amok?
(as "genius" so often does...)

ChrisEldin said...

WOW!!!

This is going to be fun!!
THanks!!
:-)

Anonymous said...

Are we allowed to list the title and genre outside of the four-sentence pitch? Or is it even necessary to include that information? Thanks so much for running this contest!

(This has been a challenge and lots of fun... I just hope you don't think mine is a joke one.)

Suzanne said...

This sounds like a lot of fun!

I think a bottle of wine may make the judging more entertaining...for you certainly!

Editorial Anonymous said...

"Are we allowed to list the title and genre outside of the four-sentence pitch?"

Sure.

Any age range (though you may also want to add that outside of the four sentences).

Editorial Anonymous said...

re: bottle of wine

I'm thinking tequila.

Kimberly Lynn said...

I was going to announce your contest on all the discussion boards but then I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling to protect you . . . at least until you’ve had the opportunity to stock up on more tequila.

Laurie said...

Any chance you'd read the winner's manuscript?

Editorial Anonymous said...

But how could I do that without giving away my identity?

Merry Monteleone said...

Well, you could swear said winner to secrecy... though I guess if it led to a deal, that'd be hard to do...

What if it was a partial crit?

Laurie said...

If it meant getting published (or the possibility of) I think any of us would take your identity to the grave!!! ha ha...

Ok, maybe just a critique, that sounds fair.

Deirdre Mundy said...

Wait! EA might read the manuscript that 'wins' in the worst catagory????


Now I'll have to write one to match my pitch! Of course, to be a TRULY bad pitch, it would have to make the book seem worse than it was in reality....

argh. My head aches from all that thinking. Must caffinate.

magolla said...

Editorial Anonymous said...
But how could I do that without giving away my identity?

Uh, I'm all over a cyber-pinky swear!

Editorial Anonymous said...

Ok, my work week is now officially out of hand. What a day. I cannot promise to read anything for the winners of this contest, I'm afraid.

I hope everyone is just doing it for the fun/learning experience.

Anonymous said...

I'm new to this... what exactly is a pitch? Is it like a query minus the personal information?

Thanks!

Merry Monteleone said...

EA,

Egads, I think we're all thrilled you'd even take the time to do the pitch contest! But, ya know, if there's a shot of getting a manuscript crit in there, we gotta try it... pushy writers.

Anon,

Yes, the pitch is basically your paragraph about the novel from your query... something similiar to a back cover blurb.