Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Slush and Punishment: It Looks Like English...

The water she flows over rocks and stone
I found the jewel’d moss a day
Hard in my hand I wandered far
Green in my hand I wandered far
Wind echoing secrets nor play.

Look, I can put words on paper! And a stamp on an envelope! The world has just opened up to me since I got this one-handed crack pipe!

15 comments:

Eric said...

I... I like it. I love it! It sings to the itchiest parts of my previously distracted soul. I am dazzled to the point of...

Hold on... gotta relight... still using the one-hander.

I really must upgrade

Rilla said...

Funny...I'm really enjoying this...these have to be some of your wackiest posts...I hope there's more...hmm...maybe I should become an editor...want to trade places?

Eric said...

OK, I'm back.

Or was I ever really gone?
Or was I here truly ever?
Winds of transfiguring lilac-wondrousness through my cranium does whirl.

Dang... gotta relight...

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or is the posting of and giggling at bad submissions on a blog just a tad mean- spirited? And juvenile? Does it occur to any of you that these people might look at this blog and see their work vilified on it? Is this to be a common occurrence on here?

Anonymous said...

If these are real, EA may not remain A a whole lot longer.

Editorial Anonymous said...

No, these are not real submissions. That would be unethical, not to mention rude. But they are (sadly) inspired by real submissions.

angela said...

Relax Anonymous!! These are too enjoyable. If some guy said he could weld and showed you proof by sending a sample of two bobby pins stuck together, you would laugh & question his ability!!! Same premise.

This example would be a great anti-drug campaign. That's why it's best to......
JUST SAY NO!

Deirdre Mundy said...

This one reminds me of 6th grade...

I won the superintendants writing contest (something like 10 kids per grade in the whole county won)(big, crowded suburban county..)

So I'm at the awards ceremony with my parents, and the superintendant decides to read aloud one of the winning high school poems... It really spoke to him, all the adults who read it were touched, etc.....

And so, he began, in a heartfelt voice:

Hello, Darkness, My old freind!
I've come to talk to you -
again.

Because a vision softly creeping....

My mom and I nearly lost it.... apparently some kid submitted re-punctuated Simon and Garfunkel and it GOT PAST ALL THE TEACHERS AND JUDGES!!!!!!!!

Not that your slush rises to the level of Simon and Garfunkel.... But it triggered the memory. =)

Lynne said...

I bet even if EA did post the real submissions she could still remain anonymous. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the authors of these submissions don't read any websites having to do with writing.

Actually, I could just put a period after the word "read."

Anonymous said...

I'd rather see examples of good submissions and see what writers should aspire to - than laugh at bad writing. That's too easy.

Deirdre Mundy said...

EA doesn't need to point out GOOD submissions... they're at your local bookstore or library!

A good place to start for "What to aspire to" is a good children's literature textbook or another book that lists great children's books......

The textbooks are great (usually aimed at the librarians who buy books) because they break it down by type of book (concept, alphabet, fantasy, etc.) mention the most important books in the field, and tell WHY they're important!

They also include author interviews and the like...

and extensive lists of "must-reads"

Sam Riddleburger said...

(((Spoiler alert for I Capture the Castle)))
That poem reminds me of the "great writing" the father turns out at the end of I Capture. I wonder how many query letters he had to send out for that one.

Elizabeth Fama said...

Deirdre:

My kids and I got such a laugh from your 6th grade writing award story!

Elizabeth

Leslie Muir said...

Oh, that is a classic, Deirdre. Thanks for sharing.

Rilla said...

Yeah, Dierdre, really funny. Reminds me of how a boyfriend used to spurt lyrics from Pink Floyd and Jethro Tull songs and tell me he was a poet ;) I know, what rock did I crawl out from...I was brought up on classical music...and I went downhill from there...