Squirrels: So 2007.
Geese? Over.
Timmy: Subsiding.
Currently: Chihuahuas. With photos.
Honestly, how many times do I have to tell people? Your dog is mind-bogglingly adorable to you. To everyone else, it's just a photo of some dog. If asked to use an adjective, I would go with "short". And possibly "brown".
Though a couple could easily have been asking for "vacant-looking", "lopsided", and "about to bite someone".
Don't. Write. Stories. About. Your. Pets.
not even if your pet is a blue slushosaurus?
ReplyDeleteWhat about vampire chihuahuas?
ReplyDeleteWell, if it's you, Janet, I'll make an exception. Other owners of blue slushasauruses should "submit" to the psych ward.
ReplyDeleteDo you completely hate Marley & Me for inflicting these pet books upon you with such a vengeance?
ReplyDeleteI would have hated Marley and Me anyway.
ReplyDeletearghhhh so true! hate them all!
ReplyDeleteand, of course, "Dewey"
*sighs*
animal books suck!!!!
come on!!!!
LOL! I agree that pet stories, at least to me, aren't very appealing, but you'd be amazed how many pet photographs and art sell at places like Cafe Press!
ReplyDeleteWe squirrels will be back.
ReplyDeleteA dear friend of mine gave me (and my first newborn daughter) quite a famous book about a dog who carried a baby around. I believe the book was wordless. It did nothing for me. Someone else gave me "The Other Dog" when my other daughter was born. Kinda cute. But I'm not a dog person. (Still, these books had real stories in them.)
ReplyDeleteCan I interest you in a book about a black cat who chews off her fur, and stares at you vacuously while you make coffee every morning? I have one of these. She is a charity cat. Can't say she is sweet tho. Not terribly endearing...don't know what to do with her...kinda sad really. :(
But my pet is both adorable and magical! It cured my cancer, and brought my war-torn family together, and colonized Mars with the help of a spunky robot sidekick named Cutie-Bot!
ReplyDeleteHow is that not saleable?
What if it's someone else's pet?
ReplyDeleteStumbling, Bumbling Sled Dog: 'Sorry, This Is My First Iditarod'
If you hate Marley, you should read Dewey.
ReplyDeleteAnd my new puppy is cute. I was thinking of writing a PB called Puppy! Please Don't Pee!
:)
LOL! Snort! Slobber! too funny!!!!
ReplyDeleteI bet you cheered when Old Yeller was shot. :'-(
ReplyDeleteI could not pick up Marley & Me to save my life. I refuse to see the movie either.
Now if I commonly refer to my husband and children as pets (one dog and two little piggies) does that count them out? Should I send some pics just in case?? Only two are short and none are brown???
Actually, I think every children's writer should write a story about their pets- and then lock it away in a desk drawer at the bottom of the sea.
ReplyDeleteReally, just get it out of your system, and then the rest of us will be spared.
Of course, you would make an exception about the dog to the right of this post, correct?
ReplyDeleteNow come on, THAT'S a FACE that is screaming for a book to be written about!!!:)
Squirrels and geese, old hat.
ReplyDeleteBut what about pandas? Or penguins? They were the critter du jour for a while.
Christine, isn't that dog the one from Absolute Zero?
ReplyDeleteHey, EA! I was going to write a novel about my pet and now you posted this! Now I'll have to sue you for stealing my money-making idea!!!!! =)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, though, my husband and I are not huge pet people. Pets take time and effort. And, unlike children, they don't grow into people you can have an intelligent discussion with.....
Unfortunately, said children have been directing all discussions toward pets.
So we'll probably end up with a rabbit.
BTW-- what if it's a "ripped from the headlines" pet story? Like a YA horror about a crazy lady who keeps large primates as pets? (shiver. still giving me nightmares.)
I bet you're a cat person.
ReplyDeleteI thought owls were the new squid. Chihuahuas seem very 2005.
ReplyDeleteOwls are not the new squid!
ReplyDeleteBut I want a book to have that title, now.
Don't get a rabbit. All they do is poop. They run, they hop and POOP POOP POOP. All over the place.
ReplyDeleteTrust me on this one. POOP POOP POOP SHE DOOP
Want a nice pet. Get a ROCK. And let your kids put the damn thing on the table.
Pick your battles (and pets) carefully.
How about, don't write stories about soccer Moms. Those are even worse. I don't care how overscheduled you are, and overscheduled does not equal complexity!
ReplyDeleteI guess you don't wanted my completed YA inspired by my pet fish. It's called,
ReplyDeleteTHERE'S A GROUPER IN MY SWIMMING POOL!
Moms are in the sidelines, babe. Kids don't wanna read about em...mine included...nor do they want to read about grandparents..keep the adults for adult books...keh... and the sucky art that goes with them.
ReplyDeleteThey want to read about THEMSELVES.
I fell in love with a book written by a toy poodle that lived in NYC. It was a vain, but otherwise good natured little beast. That was back in the early 60s. Can't remember the name of the book. Fortunately, my pets have refused to pick up the pen.
ReplyDeleteEither the cat is bored and unhappy or it has fleas. Either is curable.
ReplyDeleteTimmy?
ReplyDeleteWhat's that mean? Lots of books are being submitted with characters named Timmy?
I do have a character in my WIP named Jimmy... is that okay? :)
Anon 2:22 -- Unfortunately, our local 4-H fair does not have a "Rock Barn". So it's bunnies.
ReplyDelete(I'd rather do goats, but since we live in town I have a feeling that the neighbors might have rather... strong... feelings about them...)
----
Soccer Mom picture books??? You're kidding, right? I feel bored just thinking about them!
Not a pet (that I know of) (and if it was, it's long passed on), but I loved with all my heart Pantaloon, the black French poodle who loved ze Fronch pastries. Also Mrs. Ticklefeather's friend/pet puffin.
ReplyDeleteSigh...Onward, in a fit of nostalgia, to the oop online booksellers!
What about "Stanely and Sophie" by Kate Jennings?? I quite enjoyed that one.
ReplyDeleteDon't get a rabbit. All they do is poop. They run, they hop and POOP POOP POOP. All over the place.
ReplyDeleteBunnies also chew all wires in the home (think cat in "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation:)
EA, I assume you mean AZ the movie?
I've had people say he looks like the dog from Married with Children, the puppet from Fraggle Rock, many dogs on pet food commercials but, no, this dog does nothing to earn his kibble and, why would he when all he has to do is look sideways at you and he can have anything he wants. This is why we have so many books about pets, especially dogs. These critters, with brains the size of a peanut, run us:)
Dear Editor,
ReplyDeleteYou've requested that I not write stories about my pets and send photos to illustrate.
Fine. I will now write stories about YOUR pets and send photos of THEM to illustrate.
Signed,
Creepy Stalker Author
P.S. Green is really not your color. And are you wearing the Lingerie I sent you?
"igh...Onward, in a fit of nostalgia, to the oop online booksellers!"
ReplyDeleteAnother flash back.
"Carbonel, the king of cats."
The only wonderful thing about wabbits is you can puw on their eaws.
ReplyDeleteBut they poo poo poo....yes they do do do!
And if you put em outside in a cage they will be eaten by wacoons.
A one-eyed cat with the mange?
ReplyDeleteDeirdre, you crack me up.
ReplyDeleteGreeeaaat. Now I have a case of uncontrollable giggles at my place of work.
ReplyDelete'Swhat I get for reading this blog on the clock (not to mention the comments).
Word verification: spins. See: The feeling in my head caused by excessive giggling.
What if it gets stepped on?
ReplyDeleteUm...rabbits won't poop poop poop all over the place if you take a few days to litter-box train them, guys. Just saying.
ReplyDelete