Friday, January 2, 2009

Go Name Yourself

From a recent conversation in the comments about Evil Editor's minions:
Me: Why don't I have minions?

Sarah Laurenson: Ah, but you have slavishly devoted followers. You just need a name for them. Miss Snark had Snarklings. Evil Editor has Minions. Does Moonrat have Moonies? I think you need a 'name the followers' post.

Colorado Writer: You have followers. Devoted ones.

Me: Yes, and I like their free-thinking selves just the way they are. But couldn't I have some minions, too, to do my bidding and some odd grovelling? Can you rent minions?

Sarah Laurenson: Odd grovelling? I think that can be arranged. Especially if you rent a few minions to do it.

Dana P: Sorry, EA, you can't have minions, because you're not evil. (A bit naughty, maybe, but that's not enough...)

Me: Harumph! New Year's resolution: be more eeeevil.
Asking you all to name yourselves feels like making assumptions about exactly how interested is this blog's following, but being humble is in direct contravention of my New Year's resolution. Humility: out. Overweening hubris: in.

So go on, name the readers of this blog. No need for slavishness, but humor is a plus. I'll put together a poll so everyone can vote. Hmm. Is allowing voting not eeevil enough?

I'd better do something bad to make up for it. I'll go torture my cat by holding her food dish over her head.

71 comments:

  1. Hmm... If you want to torture something, I'd pick something with less claws...

    Like us perhaps? Your loyal Slush Patrol, ridding the world of bad slush one rambling query letter at a time.

    Hooray for overweening hubris!

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  2. The Anonymati? (Or would it have two T's?)

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  3. Slushies?
    Squirrels?
    The Strange (as in the strange writers who stalk you)

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  4. Anonymites
    anonymous and minute

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  5. Anonymouseketeers? Or is that too long (and too Disney)?

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  6. How about Avengers? Editorial Anonymous' Avengers...

    emily

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  7. Oh my. How about slushies (slushers, lushes?)? You've got that cute, blue slush monster. But then it might seem we were worshipping the slush monster and not the great EA (grovel, grovel).

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  8. Groveling Minions = Grunions? We used to go watch the grunion run up on the beach and flop around in the moonlight by the thousands. There's got to be a metaphor in there somewhere...

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  9. Slavish blog followers . . . hmmm . . . sloggers?

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  10. I smile every time I see your Slush Monster, so I vote for:

    SLUSHIES

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  11. How about Mouselings? (from a nony mous)
    EdAnons?
    Slushettes?
    Slushies?
    Slushers?
    Cheezits? (obtuse mous reference)

    I give up for now. . . .:o)

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  12. Since you are "anonymous," perhaps we (your mostly anonymous devoted followers who hang on your every word) are nonnies.

    You could summon one of us by calling, "Hey, nonnie, nonnie!"

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  13. Perhaps we could be Nonnies?

    But please, no voting. Evil Editors (a category to which I don't assign you; but just working with your New Year's Resolution here...) issue edicts, not ballots.

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  14. Anonymice, obviously, in light of Stuart, The Mouse and the Motorcycle, The Mouse's Child... and all the other rodents of children's literature.

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  15. Ermmm....copycats?

    Slush monsters?

    Groupies??

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  16. Editorial Anonymous has either Eddies or Nonnies. If we need full names, Ediot Eddies or Nodding Nonnies.

    Raelene

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  17. Sorry for the delay in posting all these comments. I have a cold, and had to have a second nap. And finish reading Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians.

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  18. Hmmmm....

    Since you're such a fab Insider Goddess, we could be your Mere Mortals.

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  19. Sending some virtual chicken soup your way. Naps are the best!

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  20. Oh, I love that book!
    And I like "nonnies".
    Get well soon.

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  21. EA and her... Ablatives? Semicolons? Ampersands?

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  22. I love the slush monster, so love the idea of being a slushy...

    Maybe we could be your "Slush Puppies"?
    (sounds inoffensive, but can be well trained and loyal, which is what you want in a good minion)

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  23. Flunkies?
    Toadies?

    Hmmm...
    Anomalies?

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  24. Yeah, I'm thinking torturing the cat is not going to work. But it must have some wicked mind control over you if you think you can torture it. heehee

    How about calling us "papercuts" you can shorten it to "pc." Then we could go around saying, "we are pc." And people would either think we're ripping off MicroSoft or that we're politically correct. Or what about calling us interns? No pay, no credit and we have to make you coffee.

    Oh, better yet, look what I found online;
    "Main Entry: minion
    Part of Speech: noun
    Definition: sycophant
    Synonyms: backscratcher, backslapper, bootlicker, brownnoser*, dependent, doormat, fan, fawner, flatterer, flunky*, follower, groupie, hanger-on*, lackey, parasite, puppet, slave, stooge*, subordinate, toady, yes-man/woman, yes-person"

    There HAS to be something there. Of course you could just shorten some of those to; scratcher, licker, slapper, noser...etc. Yeah, I think we're onto something now!
    ;)Angela

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  25. I like nonnies and annonimice.

    But the singular of the latter might sound like a usurption.

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  26. I do kinda like Ablatives. Is it too grammatical?

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  27. If Dame Edna can call everyone "possums", then EA can call her people "squirrels". But "Anonymice" is good too.

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  28. Ablatives sounds a little to close to Ablation, and hopefully you are not removing too much of our body tissue:)

    Hmmm....how about Worriors....we are brave, and with your help, experienced fighters trying to make headway in our battle to get and/or stay published.

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  29. Ablative squirrels gets my vote. :)
    Or Slushies.

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  30. The Twits? (Raold Dahl esque)
    The Twats? (since you like that word)
    The NitTwits

    Will try to think of more..

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  31. I like the word "snarfle." (from urban dictionary).

    It means to eat recklessly; to consume food quick and carelessly. Chewing with your mouth open.

    It could have the double meaning of (1) the Slush Monster mascot on your blog consuming ms, and (2) what your blog readers do -- "consume" your advice, swallowing it down without bothering to chew first?

    We could go by "snarfles" or "snarflers"
    :)

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  32. Ah, I like snarfle. It does suit that monster.

    Ablative comes from the same root as ablation, and an ablative case conveys a removal from the rest of the sentence around it in place, time, cause, or manner. I was thinking of my readers as removed from the general mass of submitters by the places they will go, the time they will not waste, the reason they'll get ahead, and the manners with which they will charm their colleagues.

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  33. We could be, with no intended reference to sexuality, Queries, or Stets, or ARCs, as in uncorrected proofs.

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  34. My vote is for either the Nonnies (You had me at Hey Nonnie Nonnie!) or

    if we must have slush, the
    "Slush Puppies"

    And you must be REALLY sick, EA, b/c my word verification is: Diasess

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  35. Queries is good. You guys do ask a lot of questions. (Not that I'm complaining, of course.)

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  36. BTW, EA... with that dissertation on the Ablative case, you just gave another clue to your identity.

    At some point in your life, you must have studied Latin...

    (I started on Greek, then moved on to Latin, and I still remember weeping when I found out there was no Aorist, and no Genetive Absolute.... (Though the Ablative Absolute did soothe me a bit.... just a bit, though.)

    And now, Google must think I'm a Philosopher or a Swordsman, because my word is:
    duallyst.

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  37. "Snarklings" came from a post just like this, asking the readership for a collective name.

    I do like Slushies in honor of your darling dinosaur!

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  38. I like EdAnons, Monsters, Ablatives, and Queries.

    EdAnons: sounds like a Greek temple position, an ideal place to do a bit of grovelling.

    Monsters: like minions, only hungrier and less disciplined.

    Ablatives: grammatical and vaguely humiliating.

    Queries: appropriate.

    Also, appreciation for the Anonymati, but this is hardly a secret society.

    Squirrels would perhaps be appropriate, but hopefully you don't want to never see your readership ever again?

    If you hold a vote, you could perhaps tamper with the result. That would be delightfully evil.

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  39. I like the Anonymati best, I think :)

    I also like Debra's suggestion of Anonymatopeons. We are, after all, your peons :) And Anonymatopeon... now, that's just cute...

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  40. I like anonymice, or anonymousies. That puts you in the role of feline overlord, and us in the role of feeble minion mousies subject to your puissant whims.

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  41. I like nonnies and ablatives (ablates), but Twats? no....

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  42. Anonymotopeons. Love it.

    Anonymice also good. Not a fan of Nonnies, though. I refuse to be called a Nonnie. But that's only because the biggest bully in elementary school was called Nonnie.. and she stole my lunch at least once a week...

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  43. How about Edanites as in Editorial Anonymous ites ?

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  44. Anonymatopeons, love that one and also reminds me of onomatopoeia, which many of our PB authors, and some of others will be using. And because we are peons, sort of. Yes, I like it, and it makes us sound much smarter than slushies (which is cute).

    Marlo

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  45. I like snarfles :) It definitely conjures up the slush monster's seemingly benign cute and cuddliness, with a hint of its voracious appetite for consuming words. A little like us ...

    Slushies reminds me of slurpees.

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  46. The Submitting Ablatives?

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  47. I love that book! Random quick anecdote: I was at a dinner at the last ALA Conference with Brandon Sanderson and a few other authors who shall remain nameless here. Not a huge sci fi reader I felt way out of my element so I had a great conversation with him...I was way excited to meet the author of Alcatraz and he was way excited to meet someone who found him more interesting than the other authors he was appearing with.

    I like Slush Puppies, but it's probably under copyright sadly.

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  48. How 'bout the AmoEbas, we single-celled organisms nearly burst under pressure. Are not very smart and are willing to follow invisible leaders.

    I vote for the ”AmoEbas”

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  49. Doesn't 'snarfle' sound too much like 'snarkling'?

    I love 'anonymice' and 'slush puppies'...

    *grovels*

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  50. I like Anonymice.

    It rolls off the tongue.

    And I see all these little mice like Despereaux sitting in the cups of your hands....some of them hanging onto your shirt for dear life.

    (Some of them crawling up your sleeves.)

    :)

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  51. hmmm....

    Underlings?
    Snipers? (you know, they're kind of anonymous too and could pick off the worst of the slush from a safe distance)

    other than that, I got nothin'

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  52. Well it looks like I'm a bit late, but I thought "Those People Over There" had a nice ring to it. You could call us T-POTs for short.

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  53. I'm late for the party, but I like 'fricatives.'

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  54. In order of my love for them:

    7. Anonysquirrels
    6. Anonymatopeons
    5. Anonymice or Eddies & Nonnies
    4. Slush Puppies / Slushlings
    3. ARCs
    2. T-POTs
    1. But I really, really love the Ampersands. (Semicolons is quite apt too, tied for 1st, but it's just not as fun to write.)


    P.S. I can't believe I'm lucky enough to witness a Snark sighting within my own lifetime!

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  55. I know this is an old post, but...
    how about Henchmen? Oh yes, Your Dark Henchmen; stomping out one Nitwit-Yahoo at a time.

    Oh fear us non-EA-readers, for we pity none!

    :)

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