The Everyone Poops (But You Don't Have to Mail It to Me) Award:

goes to four distinguished contestants:

One man's food poison is another microbe's siren. SAM AND ELLA, A LOVE STORY proves that it isn't just the heart that rules in passion but the wanton and gurgling world of the digestive tract.

Princess Ariel finds herself in the midst of a sudden onslaught of giant bubbles that threatens the very existence of her underwater kingdom. This book is--literally--a "Little Mermaid meets Walter the Farting Dog" story--one that is destined to enchant and amuse children from 1 to 101.

When Ana Rexia slips down the drain and arrives in Xcrement, a sinister underground city squirming with Sewer Rats and Sanitary Product Salesmen, she is captured by Flatulus and Gassigutz for display in their Freak Xhibition at the Vomitarium. There Ana meets Bobbie Bulimic, and the two tumble into a puddle of muck, and into love. Will Ana and Bobbie blow off Flatulus and Gassigutz and escape the Rising Tide of Merde? Fans of Stephen King and Barbara Cartland will kill to find the answer within my Book, Plumbing the Depths, as will over eight million citizens with Eating Disorders.

Have you ever wondered about the Commander in Chief's bathroom habits? What kind of toilet paper they have in the White House, how Watergate affected Nixon's bowels, or where Lincoln's outhouse was located? In my new picture book, Presidential Poops, readers of all ages will delight in the whimsical rhyming texts and colorful illustrations. Plus, a special scratch-n-sniff section on the back cover will help readers feel as if they are right in the Oval Office bathroom!