The Publishometer: How to tell whether a manuscript will be acquired

I am an unpublished author trying desperately to be a published one. I feel I am a good writer and follow all the guidelines. I know publishing is a business first and foremost, but when I see yet another celebrity with a children's book in the works, it's disheartening. Plus I'm really, really jealous! My question is: Would a publisher choose a mediocre book written by a celebrity over a well written book by a no-name just because it may sell better?

There are essentially three variables at work:

• Quality of Writing
• Consumer Interest in Topic
• Degree of Celebrity

Editors want to weight things in terms of Quality of Writing. But editors also know that the Public -- the book-buying consumer -- cares a hell of a lot more about Topic and Celebrity than Writing. And yes, publishing is a business. So use this guide:

Quality of Writing:

• Transcendent -- 50 points
  
• Excellent -- 45 points
  
• Delightful -- 40 points
  
• Good -- 35 points
  
• Decent -- 30 points
  
• Drivel -- 20 points
  
• Culpable -- 10 points
  
• An abomination to anyone above the IQ of an orangutan -- 0 points
  

Consumer Interest in Topic:

• I WANT that! -- 110 points
  
• My kid won't shut up about that -- 90 points
• My kid likes that, and so do I -- 70 points
• My kid likes that, but I'm pretty tired of and/or annoyed by it -- 50 points
• Hmm. Maybe? -- 30 points
• No, thanks -- 20 points
• Ew, really? -- 10 points
• You couldn't PAY me to expose a child to this, and I'm writing to my congressman -- 0 points

Degree of Celebrity:

• Hollywood royalty -- 120 points
• Hollywood and widely recognized -- 100 points
• [Other field] and widely recognized -- 80 points
• Not widely recognized, but still a certain amount of celebrity -- 60 points
• Not recognized by anyone outside of books, but with a good track record -- 40 points
• Not recognized by anyone outside of books, but previously published -- 20 points
• Unknown -- 0 points
• Famous for something people actively want to keep their children away from -- 0 points

Anything over 120 points total is going to be published.
Anything under 90 points total is going straight to the recycling bin.
The stuff in between has a chance, but may be a long shot.

So, for instance:

Celebrity: Unknown
Topic: No, thanks
Writing: Transcendent
Result: NOT PUBLISHED

Celebrity: Hollywood royalty
Topic: Ew, really?
Writing: Orangutan
Result: PUBLISHED

Feel free to play with this publishometer to your heart's content.