Saturday, July 19, 2008

Slush and Punishment: Warm, Fuzzy Messages and Dead Puppies

When Angeline hears that animals can't go to heaven, she starts digging a hole in her backyard in an effort to visit Hell and her dead puppy Sandy. Her parents understand this as part of her spiritual development. While she never reaches Hell, her story is a metaphor for the struggle with death and Man's sinfulness.
Every month or so I do some digging in the slush, and sometimes afterwards I have these phantom paper-cuts that make me itch, and then I wash my hands compulsively.

This is a metaphor for my struggle with the dread of ever meeting these loonies.

13 comments:

Deirdre Mundy said...

I just can't get past the bad theology in this...

Pets can't go to Heaven in Christian Theology because they don't have rational souls! That means they can't go to Hell either..... or purgatory, or Limbo.

Perhaps if this girl's parents just gave her a copy of the Summa, they could have avoided the ugly pit in their backyard! =)

Anonymous said...

*snort* Stop! :D My riesling almost came shooting out my nose.

Anonymous said...

I can see why this might not make a decent or marketable children's book, of course, but it's actually not bad in a Chas Addams sort of way.

Deirdre Mundy said...

Ooh... I like it... But if it was the Addams family, the child would be HAPPY her puppy was in Hell, and would be going to visit because it was fun...

Heck, they'd probably just have their own Hellhound! (Not named Dog...)

Jill Murray said...

This post really highlights the unfortunate under-representation of dead puppies in children's literature. I hope it was to be a picture book!

Sam Hranac said...

Tim Burton, can you twist this one into shape? With a few changes, like the girl actually reaching hell...

Anonymous said...

Hey, that one's mine! It's only through the struggle to get to Hell, however misguided, that Angeline learns to confront her Own Sins. And contrary to the first post about "bad theology," Angeline learns she must atone for her dead puppy Sandy's Sins as well as her own. Of course Sandy cannot do this. She is a dog.

Merry Monteleone said...

EA,

How about a contest for the worst / most humorous pitch? That could be entertaining...

Clare K. R. Miller said...

I don't know why she'd want to do that, dead puppies aren't much fun...

Anonymous said...

Of course she reaches hell. It's this manuscript.

Editorial Anonymous said...

--snort!--

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